


Don't leave me

by sassamifrass



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Comfort, Crying, Earn Your Happy Ending, Fix-It, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Heartbreak, Multi, Obsession, Smooching, Snakes, THIS IS THE RESCUE RAY ROUTE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, so much crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2018-12-30 02:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12098715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassamifrass/pseuds/sassamifrass
Summary: "But what about Ray?"For all of you as crushed by Ray's story arc in V Route as I was: this fic is going to fix it.This fic starts on V Route Day 6, and diverges from canon over the next few days of the route.MC and Seven are teaming up once more.Ray must be saved.CW for people with Ophidiophobia: a snake appears in a later chapter, I'll put a warning on that chapter specifically. Nothing intense but just a heads up.





	1. Don't leave me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ray's characterisation in V's route breaks my heart and if you want yours to feel a little more broken: here you go. Also, there's a smooch. But mostly tears.
> 
> I've intentionally not mentioned MC's gender in this piece, so you can headcanon MC however you'd like. I imagine a different MC for every route in the game - I hope you enjoy my take on their personality in this one. They're quite different from the one in my MC7 fic.
> 
> This is inspired by a scene around the middle of Day 6 on V's route, so if you haven't played it to there (or at least through Day 1 for context of the general plot) you might be very confused.

"It's time for you to meet with our saviour."  
  
Standing in the open doorway, he makes no move to enter the room. No attempt to close the distance between you.  
  
Even during your brief walk in the garden, he had kept a pace or two ahead. Stepped softly to the side whenever you stopped to examine the flowers. Smiling as you exclaimed over a brilliant jewelled beetle, but always, always remaining just out of arm's reach.  
  
Carefully controlled. In gestures, footsteps. Even breathing.  
  
But not in words. Not in actions.  
  
As he stands expectantly in the doorway, half in shadow, you stare in silence at the man who wants to keep you trapped here.  
  
What he's doing is wrong.  
  
But you can't hate him.  
  
If he could just understand...  
  
What on earth could have caused such a gentle person to become so full of vengance?  
  
The memory of the green liquid he held... his headaches...  
  
His saviour.  
  
You shiver, slightly. Ray catches the movement and steps forward, softly drawing the door closed behind him. Finally, you can see his eyes.  
  
"Are you okay? Do you need to change into warmer clothes before I take you to her?"  
  
"I..." You stare into his eyes. The dark circles only serve to further frame their intense green depth.  
"Ray. How are you doing?"  
  
He holds your gaze, unblinking. "I've been thinking about you all the time." At his sides, his gloved hands twitch, but his face remains neutral. "I was scared... that you'd hate me..." Finally, he breaks eye contact, and the absence of his stare almost makes you want to fall forwards. Towards him. "But I also missed you. So much..."  
  
"You said you hurt your fingertips..."  
  
Another twitch. "It's...nothing. I was just -"  
  
But you can see the pain in the way he curls his fingers - another burden on top of the many others you can sense pressing against him.  
  
It's a wonder he can breathe.  
  
You're not sure if it's the pangs of sympathetic pain you feel looking at those curled, strained fingers, or the knowledge that the longer you stay here, the longer you can avoid the saviour. But you feel a rush of boldness, along with a rush of heat to your cheeks as you step forward. "Ray... please let me see."  
  
He doesn't move. "Um...?"  
  
You take another step, and another. The distance between you both becomes very small, very fast.  
  
You could swear you could see a glimmer of sweat breaking out on Ray's forehead.  
  
"W-what is this? I'm-"  
  
You take his right hand in yours. "Show me. Please, Ray."  
  
It's the first time you've actually touched him. You expected the glove to feel cold, but the material is thin, and warm. And -  
  
"You..." he breathes, eyes locked on your hands.  
  
The gloves are an unusual design, only covering half of Ray's hands. Perhaps they shield against static or shock when working with the machines in his work room downstairs?  
  
As such, for the most part, you aren't touching glove at all. Instead, your fingertips lightly rest on his bare wrist, tingling at the sensation of his rapidly warming skin.  
  
"I'm going to crumble if you keep touching me like this," Ray whispers, head bowed. He's closed his eyes. "I can't..."  
  
"Please." He's always responded well to politeness. "Just let me check on you before we go, okay? I'm worried."  
  
Ray says nothing, but he doesn't resist as you lead him over to the corner of your perfectly made bed. You haven't spent a lot of time resting in it. Sleeping too much might mean you miss an important chat with the RFA. Or a phonecall... or a message...  
  
Maybe it's the lack of sleep that is making you so bold. Your head feels light, and your heart feels like a balloon being pressed up against by something unknown. Maybe something you will never fully understand.  
  
The balloon feels pushed nearly to its limits.  
  
You don't care.  
  
Right now, it's the pain in front of you that you want to relieve.  
  
Ray lets you peel back a glove, although he won't sit properly on the bed - he half-leans, half-sits.  
  
The hand in yours is perfectly still, but out of the corner of your eyes, you can see the other is shaking.  
  
You try to be as gentle as possible, but as the tips of the glove finally leave his fingers, Ray sucks in air sharply. Exposed, his fingers barely have any nail left on them at all.  
  
It looks so painful. So raw. How can he...?  
  
"I've made you cry..." You blink at his words, and feel the tears, released, roll down your face. "Your crying face..." he shifts, although he doesn't allow the injured hand move an inch. "I'm... a little happy seeing you cry."  
  
He raises his other hand and, for the briefest moment, it brushes your cheek. You look up into his eyes and the distance between you becomes almost zero.  
  
But then he stands, creating the distance once more. He takes back his glove, wincing only slightly as he pulls it back down over his ravaged fingernails.  
  
"Thank you for worrying about me." He can't meet your eyes this time, either. "Even after everything... thank you."  
  
"I like you, Ray... I don't want you to suffer any more."  
  
"Then, please - put this on." He removes a familiar looking blindfold from a pocket. "The saviour wants to see you. She'll help us both get to Paradise... you'll... you'll like me even more, once you get to like her."  
  
You stand, and allow him to wrap the blindfold around your head until not even the smallest bit of light reaches your eyes.  
  
"Ray?"  
  
"I'm here." His voice is much closer than you expected. Is the loss of your senses a comfort to him? He's lost the brief tremor his voice held earlier. "Your lips... you look like you want something."  
  
You stop breathing for a second in surprise.  
  
"I can't see those innocent eyes anymore... it's a shame." You feel his fingers check the knot and the perimetre of the blindfold once more. He exhales softly. "Is your heart fluttering? You should treasure that feeling... that's what my saviour told me."  
  
Your face feels warm, and not just from the blindfold. The air between the two of you seems charged with energy.  
  
You feel warm breath against your cheek. He's not touching you at all. Always. Always, there has to be a distance. But you feel his breath...  
  
Your lips part, and you tilt your face up towards the warmth. "Ray..."  
  
A gentle brush, then. You feel his lips against your own, barely touching, and he whispers your name. And then. Pressure. The faintest dampness. And a slight graze from teeth against your lower lip as he pulls away.  
  
"She's waiting for you." He takes your hand, and leads you out of the room.

**-oOo-**

  
The woman looks familar, but part of your brain clamps down hard on the name at the edge of your thoughts.  
  
She and Ray continue to talk over you.  
  
"...I'm sure you'll be a far better host than I could."  
  
_A host..._  
  
"Now, Ray. We can all be happy. There's no need to be jealous. Come back later when you're less busy."  
  
"...okay, my saviour." Ray turns back to you. "She's a good person, and will be kind to you. I hope you have fun together." You see a hollowness in his eyes that wasn't there before. And the presence behind you feels like some endless chasm waiting to swallow you whole.  
  
Ray stares at you for one more heartbeat, his right hand raising slightly before dropping once more to his side. "Now I... it's time for me to go."  
  
Your back still to the saviour, you mouth silently to him three words: don't leave me.  
  
His green eyes widen, lips tighten. It almost looks as if he's about to cry. But he smiles stiffly. Turns abruptly.  
  
And.

He's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T_T


	2. A harsh tone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based around conversations late on Day 6 and early Day 7.

You stare at the ringing phone in your hands, eyes never leaving the image on the screen.

_ Ray… where are you? _

Your time with the saviour has only convinced you further.

Ray is being used. 

Soft, elegant fingers trace a line down your neck from behind, then rest gently on the top of your shoulder. “You seem deep in thought.”

Ray’s voicemail message begins to play over your phone, and you hang up, keeping your eyes low, focused on the screen before you.

The saviour laughs. “I think I know why Ray was so attracted to you. What a curious expression.”

You shift slightly, but the saviour’s hand doesn’t cease her contact with you. “What does my expression look like to you?”

“Hmmm…” a thoughtful pause, and the hand leaves your shoulder. You turn to watch, as the saviour twists a finger through her own hair. “You look concerned.” She laughs again. It’s a beautiful but sharp sound.

You look away. “When will I see Ray again?”

You don’t even need to turn your head to know the disappointed expression the saviour has on her face at this moment. You hear it perfectly in her words. “Why rush back to him? Don’t you think you can learn far more from me?” She lowers her voice. “I’m nothing like Ray. I won’t treat you like a princess locked up in a tower. I’ll keep you by my side, as an equal.”

It’s easy to see how she’s accumulated her power and followers. Something in the way she speaks… something in her touch. It makes your heart flutter. It makes you want to listen…

...but this is the person who has capitalised on whatever it is that hurt Ray so badly in the past. And instead of helping him, she’s just pushed him further and further into a corner. What was it she said to you, just after he left you here, alone?  _ It’s all very well to be so kind to him, you know, but he needs to be hurt if you want him to really listen to you. He needs to suffer in order to come back around to experiencing true happiness. He’ll soon lose interest… if you don’t show him the difference. _

_ So. When will it be my turn to be hurt? So that I can then appreciate her kindness... _ The slender hands return to your shoulder, and creep down to your waist. A sweet scent wafts over your shoulder. “Let yourself get closer, to me, and -”

A text message alert appears on your phone. It’s Ray.

You hesitate -

“Oh, my. Would you like some privacy?” She steps away from you once more. “You know, Ray will show me everything if I ask him to. But, I respect your privacy. Read your messages in peace. I’ll be waiting… to talk to you more, soon. Don’t make me wait too long...”

The sweet smell fades from the room, and you open the messages from Ray.

> **Ray: “It feels so long since I last saw you.”**
> 
> **Ray: “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy…”**
> 
> **Ray: “But there’s still so much I have to prepare…”**
> 
> **Ray: “Even though we’re in the same building, I feel like we’re so far away.”**

You type back a quick response. “I hope you can come visit me again soon.”

> **Ray: “Yeah! I will.”**
> 
> **Ray: “We can’t see each other right now, but I can take it when I think about the future.”**
> 
> **Ray: “But even then… I feel a little lonely.”**
> 
> **Ray: “What if you end up liking the saviour… more than you like me…?”**
> 
> **Ray: Oh… no. Forget what I said. If that’s the case, I should just be glad.”**

How does he manage to deliver so much pain in so few words? Was everything he said before a lie? Was it just to woo you to the saviour’s cause?  _ Does he care so little about me that he can just give me up to her like that? _

You’re pressing the call button before you’ve really thought it through. Now probably isn’t the best time. You’re close to crying already -

He picks up.

“Are you okay? I can’t really talk, but…”

“Ray… don’t you care?” You try to force yourself to speak in a neutral tone, but your voice comes out flat and harsh. “Was it all a lie to deliver me to her?”

The choked sound that comes from the other end of the line comforts you at the same time as twisting the feeling in your chest even further. “My feelings for you… have always been true! I swear!” His voice wavers. “I like you. Of course, I’m not sure if you’ll like someone like me…”

“Ray. I meant what I said yesterday. I like you, too!”

“You mean it? So… you don’t hate me?” His voice becomes a whisper. “I thought… when I left you with the saviour… your eyes… I thought that maybe, you hated me now.” He takes a deep breath. “I think compared to you… and the saviour… I’m lacking in many ways. I’m just glad if you enjoyed your time with me, even if it was just for a little while.”

The last day hasn’t been an easy one. And your state of mind is not what it would usually be. 

And so, you push harder. “Is… is that it? You enjoyed our time together? It sounds like you’re already preparing to give me away… I thought…” You try to keep your voice even, but the tears are already pooling in your eyes. Drawing in a shaky breath, you wipe them away with a delicate lace scarf the saviour had gifted you with earlier.

_ Wait… am I just following the saviour’s words? Accusing him of cruel things so that he comes to beg forgiveness from me? To depend on me?  _ You shudder.  _ Am I being changed… in this place… already? _

_ I have to get out of here. And I have to take Ray with me. _

“I’m… I’m really sorry. You’re crying again because of me, aren’t you? Even… even if we can’t see each other right now… still… my heart is with you. I promise.”

“Then, why don’t we run away together?”

His voice takes on a note of genuine confusion. “But… why? Paradise is right here. The saviour will protect us. If I go outside… someone will cage me again, somewhere…I won’t be able to see the sky, or flowers!”

Rubbing at your eyes with your free hand, you take in an unsteady breath, and try to take back your composure along with it. “I… wouldn’t let that happen to you, Ray.”

He changes the subject. “It makes me smile so hard, everytime I hear your voice say my name… I want to keep hearing it… what should I do? My heart longs for you more and more. Especially since I can’t see you right now.”

“Couldn’t you even just come and see me, just for a little while?”

He waits so long to answer that you check your phone to make sure the call is still connected. “I… I wish I could…”

You can’t help but push once more. It feels like you’re fighting a losing battle, but you feel like if you stop for even one minute, then any chance you have to turn things around will be gone forever. “If the saviour told you we could never see each other again, would you listen to her?”

An even longer pause. You watch the seconds on the call duration tick upwards, with a sinking feeling in your stomach.

“Y-yes… I’d listen to her. She’s my saviour, after all.”

Icy fingers coil around your heart from inside your chest. “I see…”

“...I’d better get back to my work. And tonight, I’ll wish with all my heart… that the saviour will never ask me to do anything like that. I’ll… I’ll talk to you again.”

He hangs up, and you listen to the quiet rhythm of the dial tone, until it becomes one long, harsh beep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right now, I honestly don't know if this little series is just going to explore the suffering this route causes people who want Ray to be happy, or begin to take it in a different direction. Hope you enjoy suffering alongside me either way x_x Those of you who follow me on Twitter @AWildSassaApprs will know today I reached Day 8 of V Route, and I Am Dead Inside, My Heart Is Gone, I Am Ruined.
> 
> These chapters are written really rapidly as I work through my own feelings about events in the game. I hope you can feel my passion, even if these might be a little rougher because of the speed I'm writing them alongside my other scheduled (and much more planned out) works!


	3. Prelude to abandonment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finished V Route, got the normal end.
> 
> I may never stop crying.
> 
> I have to change this boy's fate.
> 
> There's no choice here. I just gotta write it, or I'm going to lose my shit.

The garden is beautiful at night.

But instead of Ray… his saviour walks beside you.

His saviour… no.

You know what her name must be.

If not just V... if **all** the RFA truly are real people.

Then there’s truly only one person she could be.

In the moonlight, it’s as if her hair is illuminated from within. Like a glowing, impossible flower…

Rika gestures broadly to the sky with the air of someone showing off a new outfit. “I’m so happy to share this evening with you. Isn’t the moon lovely?” She releases a giggle that sounds so much younger than she must be - and turns to grasp your hands in her own. They’re soft, and chilled with the night air.

Her sweet scent migles perfectly with the aroma of the garden. Did she choose the perfume to match, or did she design the garden to reflect her favourite scents?

You smile back, and it’s not _exactly_ a lie.

“You were abandoned, too, weren’t you? The world wouldn’t make space for you either, would it?”

Those were the first words she had spoken directly to you, after Ray had delivered you into her chambers. She’d followed with an lengthy explanation on her desire to help other people - a desire that was at first sated by the RFA, but, when that wasn’t powerful enough, not effective enough - her work at Mint Eye.

You still haven’t told her that if V hadn’t appeared, you would have drunk the mixture Ray had offered to you so reverently. She thinks she still needs to convince you, but.

You’re not so sure she does.

You know the green drink Ray offered you helps with his headaches. But it’s obvious it also makes people docile, open to suggestion. But at that moment, in his room, with Ray looking at you so tenderly -

_\- I would have drunk it in a heartbeat._

_Stupid, stupid stupid._ You’d been so enchanted by everything around you. So enchanted, it felt like there really was something magical in the air. Like a miracle could happen. Drink the potion, and all your troubles disappear. Do this one thing, and the prince...

Even after V’s appearance… you wanted to trust Ray. Over the days you had spent time together, he had treated you like no one ever had your entire life.

Like you were special. Like he’d been waiting, all this time, for you. Like he might even… truly...

You clench your jaw. _But his feelings for me are just manipulation. They’re not real._

_They’re not…_

Even so. You look around you at the beautifully lit flower garden. Even so.

Is this illusion so terrible?

Rika leads you further from the building, towards the edge of the garden, near the road and what looks like a large, densely vegetated wood.

Mint Eye truly seems like a place completely separate from the real world. A safe place…

Is it right to want to take Ray away from here? From her? Especially when… he surely doesn’t even really care for you. He’s just doing what he’s told to do, after all.

You don’t realise you’re biting at your lip until Rika’s hand gently touches your face.

_Does she touch… Ray… like this?_

“You seem tense. Have I upset you?”

You turn to look her in the eyes. Even though you’re slightly taller, you feel as if you are gazing up a vast distance. “I’m…. worried about Ray.”

Rika’s face becomes neutral, although she retains a little warmth in the corners of her eyes. “You… you’re such a kind person. But perhaps… it’s impossible for Ray to find complete healing. He’s most stable the way he is now.” Barely a muscle on her face moves, but the warmth then drains away entirely. “You shouldn’t be too fond of him. If you’re going to allow him your care, you must also take the courage to crush him and make him painful.”

And then, with barely a breath between words, her smile is back. “Oh… I’ve never had someone to talk about this sort of thing properly before. Now that we’ve met and talked like this, I wish to do a lot more with you.” The three diamantes at her neck glimmer softly. “Let’s spend some more time together. We might come to like each other even more.”

How does she create such sensations against your skin with words alone?

First, she sends Ray to seduce you with chivalry and kindness.

And now… this…

_Why do they want me so much? How can I possibly… help with their issues with V and the RFA?_

Your heart is pounding again, and you can tell Rika reads each beat clearly, without even resting a single hand against your neck.

It feels… good… to be needed… desired… this badly.

There’s a hunger inside you which until recently has always gone unfed.

Your whole life, this hunger inside has been starved almost to death. No matter how kind you were, how obedient you were, how much you tried to fit in. You went hungry for something you couldn’t even describe…

And here… every day… you’ve been offered a feast.

Not just from Ray and Rika. The RFA, too. Even though the members don’t quite trust you - their constant warmth, their private discussions - a void you’ve never allowed yourself to look into before has slowly been filled.

And something is growing.

_Something..._

“...found you.”

That voice - you recognise -

“An annoying fly seems to have found its way into my garden.” Rika points at him, and you’re half surprised he holds his position as the full weight of her gaze follows her fingertip to his chest. “Then, so it shall be done.”

You don’t really know what exactly you think of V. But whatever this place is offering you, it can’t be good for him.

“V! You’ll be caught! Run!”

He stands his ground, and calls back to you. “Are you hurt? Has she done anything to you?” He turns to the masked woman beside you. “Let her go. You know why I’m here, Rika.”

You can’t help yourself. “I knew it. You _are_ Rika.”

She smiles, and turns her eyes to you. _This feeling._ It’s almost like she’s proud of you. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

V and Rika exchange words, and one single fact begins to coalesce from their conversation, to you. _This is a lover’s quarrel._

You’ve seen… many such fights in the past. Fights that lead to violence, and -

“Stop!” _It’s not there. I’m not there. I’m safe. I’m -_

But the memories of bruises and cold glares flood back into your mind, and all you can do is cover your face to try and hold back the tears that still force themselves out from behind your fingers.

For all its claims of being a paradise, you’ve certainly spent a lot of time crying here lately.

“Look what you’ve done to my new friend.” Rika extends an arm out to pull you close to her, and she rests your head gently on the bare skin of her shoulder.

It feels safe.

“Not them, too… please don’t drag an innocent victim into this.”

“This sweet, kind person…?” Rika strokes your hair. “I wouldn’t dream of hurting them. They’re nothing like you. They understand my plan.”

As if they stepped directly out of the moonlight itself, Mint Eye believers appear, and seize V by the arms.

You raise your head in alarm. “V!”

Rika’s voice cuts through your fear. “There’s no need to call his name any more. He might not be able to hear it, soon, anyway.” And then, smoothly as ever, her voice softens. “But… call my name, instead. You already knew my name, didn’t you?”

V, struggling, is taken back inside the house, as you both watch. “You know what?” Rika turns from the sight to look you in the eyes. “No one is allowed to call my name in this place.”

You hold your breath, fearful. Is she going to take you where V is, now, too?

“But… I’ll make a special exception for you. You can call me by my name.”

-oOo-

The saviour is in a bad mood after that, although she answers your questions about V well enough.

_This really is… just one massive lover’s quarrel._

When you ran away from your uncle’s home. There were a lot of things you couldn’t escape. But one thing you thought you’d left behind was being caught up in another person’s feuds. Trapped as a witness to endless battles, and sometimes, collateral damage.

_Why did I come so easily to this place?_

You knew why.

It was when you’d looked at him. Into those eyes. Those tired, but clear eyes.

It felt like you’d found someone who could really _see_ you. See right through to who you were inside. And in every word, every movement, a promise.

The game was a perfect excuse to follow that promise you saw written across his face.

The promise that said “I’m looking right at you. I see you. And I want you. You, specifically.”

_Why, though?_

As you stepped into that car, you entertained the ideas of what could happen to you.

Maybe this was a kidnapping ring.

Maybe some kind of underground sex work trafficking, even.

But the promise.

You wanted to see how he would fulfill it.

And then he gave you the game, and everything was wonderful, for a little while.

The saviour leaves you, though only after reciting a long list of slights of V’s that she has clearly tallied carefully in her mind for quite some time.

Despite everything, you call him. It rings for quite a while…

“Hello!”

You try to sound composed. “Ray. What are you doing right now?”

He replies hesitantly. “The saviour… I’ve been given a few new tasks. And, that’s… I’m happy! But. It probably means I can’t visit you today… probably not tomorrow either.”

You don’t want to care. But your heart sinks all the same.

“I think the saviour really likes you. She even lets you use her name. I’m happy on the one side, but on the other, I’m afraid that this means my opportunities to see you will decrease even more.”

“Ray, I…”

_I don’t care if she likes me._

_I don’t care about using her name._

_I just want to see you._

But if she likes you, your chances of being allowed to see Ray will probably rise. And if you can see him in person, maybe you can convince him. Maybe the two of you -

“Ray…” You hate yourself as you press a button you know will make him react. “I’m a little scared right now…”

It’s not a lie. But your purpose in telling him feels… dirty. _Fear and kindness. You must also take the courage to crush him and make him painful._

He responds quickly, and his voices rises. “I’ll… try not to be anxious right now. So that you don’t feel anxious. And you don’t… start to hate me.”

It feels like the wrong move could break him into pieces. So you listen to his breathing, instead.

After a short pause, he continues, hesitantly. “I… really can’t stop missing you. I can’t believe I can only call you like this…” Despite his attempt to stay calm, you can feel his breathing growing shallower. “Why... do I keep getting the feeling that I won’t be able to see you again?” In the background, something scrapes against rock. Just where is he right now?

“It feels. It feels like the saviour is trying to take you away from me. I hope I’m mistaken.” Another scraping sound. “Wait for me… until the day we meet again. Okay? I must get back to work. Bye.”

As your phone screen dims, everything around you feels darker, too.


	4. Broken promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With a chapter title like this, what could possibly go wrong? Ha ha ha [crying noises]. The events in this chapter all happen during Day 7. MC is going to slowly build the trust she needs with Seven in order to eventually rescue Ray...
> 
> Oh yeah, given Seven could carry a spare computer in the back of his red sportscar, I assumed it was one of the 4-person ones despite what he said to Yoosung ^^

It’s a strange feeling, watching the RFA discuss their plans to save you. He might not show up in the chat room, but you know Ray can still read every word.

_When I give them information, when I cheer them on, does he think I’m still following his - Rika’s - plan? Or does he think… I’m betraying him?_

_And… do I even know… which of the two it is?_

707 is coming for you. They have the location, now. It seems like the RFA’s hacker has a significant amount of experience with spy operations, too.

_He’s coming to save me, and he doesn’t even trust me._

That said, is he really coming to save you at all? It’s the leader of the RFA he’s after. Rescuing you is a benefit, sure, but, would they all be mobilising like this if it was still just you, locked up in a room on your own?

_Of course not._

The thought makes you shift uncomfortably in your chair. It’s covered with embroidery, like a lot of the objects in the gaudy throne room you’ve spent much of your time in since being brought to see Rika.

It’s no leap of the imagination to realise that the members of the RFA are good people. And it’s understandable that they have to be careful about you, this new person who until recently didn’t even realise they were interacting with real humans.

But. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re still an outsider to them, no matter how kindly they treat you.

When Ray was here… it finally felt like you had somewhere you were welcomed.

_I miss him._

It was…

It _was_ a kiss, right?

In your room… before the two of you left to meet Rika. After you touched his hands for the first and only time.

It was...

It already feels so long ago. It feels like you imagined it.

Which doesn’t really make it much different from everything else in your life for the last week or so.

_If it really happened…_

You used to think you were good at reading people. You spent a lot of time growing up watching other people interact, from a safe distance. But when you think of that maybe-a-kiss, you just can’t decide. Manipulation? Affection?

When it happened, it definitely felt real.

You glance over at the roses in the vase by the door. Ray hasn’t been here once, since he left you here, but the flowers still appeared today, fresh and beautiful.

_Has he ever truly lied to me…?_

Oh. Right. Yeah.

The messenger. The ‘AIs’.

You know. That lie. The one that brought you here in the first place.

Still. Is that a worse lie than the one V told? You run a hand gently over the soft fabric of the scarf around your neck. His lie was told to protect others, though. Ray’s lie…

 _God._ You can think about it as much as you want, but you don’t have enough information. Your gut feeling says ‘trust the RFA’. But underneath that. This wistful, longing, empty hollow in your chest… has been present ever since you stopped being able to see Ray.

 _Is keeping us apart an incentive for us both to cooperate?_ Maybe it was foolish to be so open with your concern about Ray. It’s made your weakness clear.

You can’t stay here like this. But would Seven allow you to bring Ray along, as well?

Would Ray allow it?

The background of the messenger in your hands flickers and distorts. Your heart beats faster. _Finally!_

 

> **Ray: Oh…**
> 
> **Ray: [MC]...**
> 
> **Ray: what should I do?**
> 
> **Ray: I think I screwed up…**
> 
> **[MC]: Ray, are you okay?**
> 
> **Ray: agh… no.**
> 
> **Ray: That’s not important right now.**
> 
> **Ray: Actually…**
> 
> **Ray: I miss you so much….**
> 
> **Ray: Are you doing well with my saviour…?**

Staring at the nearby flowers, you pause a moment to consider the best response.

 

> **[MC]: We’re getting along.**
> 
> **[MC]: But, Ray…**
> 
> **[MC]: Will you be able to visit me again soon?**

The resulting crying emoji isn’t a surprise, but it’s also not much comfort.

 

> **Ray: The saviour…**
> 
> **Ray: once I get everything done**
> 
> **Ray: she said we could meet again.**

_I KNEW IT._

She _is_ using each of you as bait for the other. Why, why did you have to wear your heart on your sleeve like that? You could have talked about anything, but over and over, you brought up Ray. There was something about Rika… that just begged to hear your truths. To have someone like that give you her full attention… you wanted to prove yourself worthy of that gaze.

 

> **Ray: You know  MC…**
> 
> **Ray: I get so lonely**
> 
> **Ray: when I see your room empty**
> 
> **Ray: I can see traces of you at every corner**
> 
> **Ray: your chair… the table you used to lean against… your bed...**
> 
> **Ray: the bed sheet is still rumpled where you sat**
> 
> **Ray: and touched my hand**

_The place where we..._

 

> **[MC]: I miss it, too.**
> 
> **Ray: ...I’m so glad you agree**
> 
> **Ray: I’ll miss you even more when the moon rises…**
> 
> **Ray: But I should take it**
> 
> **Ray: There were occasions**
> 
> **Ray: where I was forced away from water or food…**
> 
> **Ray: so, I can take this…**

Wait, what?

Was that… _here?_

Just what did they do to him at Mint Eye, other than making him take that weird beverage…?

You start to tap out a response, but before you have a chance to send it -

 

> **Ray: Oh… I’m sorry...**
> 
> **Ray: This isn’t a good topic**
> 
> **Ray: and I gotta go.**
> 
> **Ray: Let’s see each other soon**
> 
> **Ray: my [MC]...**

And he’s gone. Again.

The ache in your chest intensifies.

-oOo-

_Rika… she looks so small._

Crouched over, hands tearing at her own hair, Rika shrieks into the ground in rage and pain.

“Obsession? No! It was love! _Love!_ ”

You look between her hunched, shaking form, and V’s grim, unsteady silhouette. Both of them throw strange shadows onto the stony walls around you.

Then.

You notice another shadow. Not theirs. Not yours.

The shadow draws close to you. Fingers reach out, and -

 _Ulp!_ You feel a light hand on your shoulder.

“Shhh. Quiet. You’re [MC], right? Don’t answer. Just nod.” Obeying, you try to look around, but the person is somehow still wrapped in shadows. All you see is the glimmer from his glasses. “We’re getting out of here. Help me pick him up, so she won’t notice.”

So this is Seven. His voice sounds a little different in person. A little crisper, and a lot more serious. Perhaps this is just what he’s like on a mission. You wonder how long he’s been watching this unpleasant scene. How much had he heard?

V is a lot lighter than you would have expected.

“This way. Keep it down!”

You follow along behind the figure in the hoodie in front of you, supporting V with one arm. He’s barely aware of what is going on, but doing his best to match your pace.

Every footstep feels like a betrayal. If you could just get Ray to come outside, then maybe -

Seven’s voice breaks your concentration. “Run! Run now!” There’s no panic in that instruction. Just authority. _Run now._ He swiftly moves to your side and scoops up V into a piggy-back hold.

“Seven! There’s someone else in there! I’m not the only one…!”

For the first time, you see his eyes. In person, they’re golden, and - weirdly - they feel familiar. You stare at him as he raises one eyebrow. “You’re kidding me. Who? No, wait -” He glances back in the direction the two of you came from. Two heartbeats, and he turns back to you. “If we go back now, the mission is a guaranteed failure. I’m sorry. I only planned for you two.”

You want to scream, _there weren’t any opportunities to tell you…!_ but, was that really true? Even with Ray reading the logs, monitoring the calls, surely…

You could have done something.

Seven, hands busy keeping V upright, gestures towards the road with his foot. His voice is flat. “I can’t change the plan now. Follow me, or don’t.” Then, he flashes a quick, cat-like smile. “Of course, I’d rather you came with us.” He turns back towards the road, and half-squats, shifting V a little higher up his back. “Ugh... you have about twenty seconds to make up your mind!”

And then he starts to run.

There’s no time to think. Well, 19 seconds. Uh, 18. 17. Shit.

_I can’t save him on my own._

So, you run. It’s dark, and you’re not exactly an athlete, but with the weight on his back, Seven hasn’t gained too much distance on you yet.

“Good choice!” He hasn’t looked back, but clearly your panting is loud enough to give him the general idea. You wince at a sudden pain in your ankle, but don’t stop running.

You’re committed now.

Miraculously, Seven is managing to progress without making much sound at all. It’s as if running in the dark is second nature to him. You, on the other hand, have had some near misses with bushes, rocks, and, a couple times _nothing at all_ getting underfoot and slowing you down.

You’re not sure how a bright red sports car can just appear out of nowhere, but somehow, it does. You stop yourself roughly with your hands, and hear a sharp intake of breath from Seven, but he says nothing as he hoists V into the backseat.

You stand uselessly for a moment, watching Seven help V with his seatbelt. Seven stands and gestures to the door to the front passenger seat. “All yours.” Somehow, he manages to already be in the car and starting the ignition before you’ve even strapped yourself in, but as soon as you hear the _click_ of your own seatbelt, he’s flooring the accelerator.

The car shoots onto the road like it had been built for exactly this moment. It responds instantly to every touch of the wheel, and maintains a reliable grip on the ground beneath it no matter how sharp a turn Seven makes. The three of you tear down the road and away from the Mint Eye facility.

Wait. Oh, shit. _Oh, shit!_

_My phone!_

All of your clothing and possessions are still back at Magenta. You don’t remember taking your phone down to the basement...

You frantically pat at your pockets. Dizzy with fatigue and adrenaline, you fumble multiple times before you can pull the familiar rectangle into view.

Thank god. _Thank god._

Your wallet is gone. Your keys are gone. All you have are the clothes on your back, Rika’s scarf around your neck, and your phone.

But your phone is all that matters.

Without it, your one connection to Ray would be gone for good.

You power up the screen, and try to load the messenger, but there’s no signal at all where you are now. Tears of frustration well in your eyes. _I have to explain…!_

_“Please… don’t abandon me.”_

_“I promise, Ray.”_

So. For all your suspicion, all your confusion about Ray...

It looks like you were the first to break your promise.

-oOo-

The road is long, and dark.

“Did they hurt you?” Seven’s question is much gentler than you had expected, after his brisk instructions during your escape. So gentle that it triggers more tears. You try to force yourself to stop, but your body won’t listen.

“N-no…” you manage to get out.

“That’s a relief. So, V is our only patient.” You watch the side of his face, bathed in moonlight. In his weird messenger selfies, he always looked kinda goofy. But here, next to you in the moonlight, he’s eerily beautiful.

And there really is… something familiar… something you really, **really** feel you should recognise… about his face…

Your eyes travel from his curly fringe all the way down to his lips, which you maybe stare at just a little too long, because then they curve up into a disarming half-smile, and he says, with the smallest hint of teasing in his voice. “Look any longer and I’m gonna have to charge~”

You give thanks to the low level of light in the car as warmth washes over your face. Seven doesn’t let you suffer long.

He’s all business once more. “Can you do me a favour? Could you take the phone with the yellow stripe out of the glove box?”

You follow his instructions and retrieve a brightly coloured, unfamiliar model phone model. It looks advanced, but you don’t recognise it as being from a popular brand. In fact, it doesn’t seem to have any branding on it at all.

“Okay, I have the phone.”

“Great.” He takes it from you with one hand, and without looking down, swipes his thumb across the fingerprint scanner. He holds it out, wiggling it in your direction, and you take it back. “Thank you~ Can you open my address book and scroll to ‘B’ for me?”

Under, B, there’s -

“Uh. Did you want ‘Beware of tasers’, or, uh, ‘Big bo-’”

“Tasers it is! Good work! Now I need you to open up a text message.”

“Oh, but we don’t-” You glance at his phone. Unlike you, Seven has a couple bars of reception. “Never mind. What do you want me to text?”

Instead of the message you were expecting, it’s some kind of meaningless passphrase.

“Is this a secret agent thing? Or a hacking thing?”

“Why not both?” The smile in his voice sounds genuine. You breathe a soft sigh of relief. You haven’t really given him much reason to trust you. The only reason you’re here now is because V had repeatedly assured everyone of your innocence. But he doesn’t seem to be holding you responsible for V’s capture, or the messenger’s hacking.

He gives you instructions on disabling the fingerprint scanner “Just in case I need you to send a few more texts,” and then falls silent.

You’re not entirely sure how long it takes for him to break the silence again, exactly, because you’ve given up checking your phone. You don’t want the battery to die before you reach somewhere it can get reception.

“Jumin…” he pauses. “It shouldn’t be long before Jumin’s resources are able to assemble to check out that cultist group’s base.”

For the briefest second, his eyes flick over to your face. “Can you tell me who this other person is, that you wanted to take with us?”

_Oh._

“Well… honestly, I don’t know a lot about him.” You’re not sure if this is really the time to tell Seven that you wanted to rescue the hacker that has been causing him so much grief. “His name is Ray. He was very kind to me… I think he’s under the control of Ri-uh.” _Probably a sensitive name right now._ “-of the cult members. They make him drink some kind of medicine really regularly…”

_Ray…_

You think about everything you’ve learned about him over the last few days.

You think about the way he spoke to you.

You think about the strange potion, his headaches, and his look of heartbreak when you couldn’t be formally inducted into Mint Eye the way he planned.

You think about the flowers.

“I think… that he’s a good person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Hmmm, why did Seven look so familiar to MC in person? What could this mean???
> 
> Everyone: WE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
> 
> Me: Gee, I guess we'll have to wait for the later chapters to find out ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Everyone: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;


	5. I don’t care what happens to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: These scenes happen alongside the events of V Route Day 8.

“So if I use it for a few seconds, then…?”

Vanderwood nods curtly. “Most people will fall down after the shock to their central nervous system, but -” the agent is interrupted by a sudden choking sound “-ah, shit! Give me a hand, will you?” 

Something is dribbling out of V’s mouth.

You ferry items to Vanderwood from a large, leopard print doctor’s bag. It looks brand new, and expensive. The bag is filled with a variety of well-labelled internal compartments, neatly packed to maximum capacity. It’s easy to follow the curt, clear instructions the agent calls to you over his shoulder.

A few minutes later, and V’s breathing has improved. Vanderwood deftly repositions him, clicking his tongue as he attempts to rearrange the pillows on the fold-out bed into a more effective layout. 

You stare at the bag of medical supplies. Much like Seven’s phone, it possesses no branding or logos. Seven hasn’t really explained much about the tall, fussing man in front of you, other than that he can be trusted. You’ve picked up from their conversations that Vanderwood must be some kind of intelligence agent as well. They seem very familiar with each other. 

“A lover’s quarrel… this is ridiculous.” Vanderwood huffs, and turns back to face you. “Honestly… that guy…” His gaze drops back down the taser you’re holding awkwardly in one hand. “Right. If you’re going to carry it around, you need to keep it out of sight. If the guy you’re facing down sees you have one before you see him, you‘ve lost an advantage.”

“I, uh… I don’t really have anything...” 

With a flash of leopard print cape trailing behind him, Vanderwood disappears into the dim glow of the room when Seven has worked nonstop since you arrived at the hideout.

It doesn’t take long for him to return. One gloved hand takes the taser from you, and drops it into a plain-looking messenger bag. “There.” He then gestures broadly at the house around you. “This place is stocked up with all the essentials. Although a hospital would be a smarter choice.” He blows a stray hair out of his eyes with an irritated huff. “Well, whatever. Getting three months of Seven Zero Seven’s free labour is all I’m interested in. I don’t need the details.”

You settle back down into a chair near V, and check your phone. Seven had shut down the RFA messenger earlier this morning, but Ray had retaliated by force-connecting your phone, along with Seven and V’s, to a copy of the messenger that he and Rika had full control over.

Which meant that now, all of your subsequent chats with Ray were visible to everyone else on the server. Ruining any chance you had to continue hiding from Seven that the person you wanted to rescue was also the hacker for Mint Eye.

He’d taken it better than you’d expected.

“ _ If you’re friends with the hacker, can’t you tell him to go easier on meeeee?” _

You’d promised to try. Seven had just nodded, then immediately buried himself back into his work, attempting to repel Ray’s intrusions and seize back control of the messenger server for good.

It was clear that Ray was outmatching him.

All the more surprising, given how much he’d been appearing on the messenger to chat to you. If you weren’t so torn up inside, you’d be impressed. Maybe even a little proud.

But. Every time you talked. He was so sad.

So lonely.

> **[MC]: Isn’t there any way we can all get along?**
> 
> **Ray: Get along…?**
> 
> **Ray: With the RFA?**
> 
> **Ray: That’s a beautiful idea.**
> 
> **Ray: But I think…**
> 
> **Ray: We’ve gone too far for that.**

_ If Rika tells him it’s impossible 500 times, I just have to tell him it’s possible 600 times. _

> **[MC]: Could you please ask Rika to settle this peacefully?**
> 
> **Ray: Peacefully…**
> 
> **Ray: I’m not sure that’s what we need right now…**
> 
> **Ray: But I’ll do anything you want ^^**

Every time you ask, you feel like you’ve made one tiny step forwards.

But then Rika logs in, and each time, seems to push him two steps back. Your progress felt all too similar to Seven’s struggle to match pace with Ray’s hacking. 

You feel like you’re trying to protect two hackers at the same time. If Seven can’t stay awake and focused, then your location could be exposed.

You do what you can, leaving him snacks and drinks when it seems like he should eat. He doesn’t seem to have slept at all since the mission the night before.

Undoubtedly, his earlier conversation with Rika in the hacked chat room was still weighing on his mind. He’d tried to gain new information from her, but in the end the conversation might have worked against him.

You’d learned two new names from their interaction:

Saeyoung, and Saeran.

Seven had clearly been demoralised from the conversation. As soon as Rika had left the chat, he’d pulled you into his darkened makeshift workroom, while Vanderwood was busy attending to V.

“Please forget everything I said in the chatroom,” he’d requested softly, glasses opaque with the reflection of the light coming from the nearby doorway.

You have a pretty good idea who Saeyoung must be, from what Rika gave away. But as for the other name… In a low voice, you ask him. “Is Saeran... someone at Mint Eye?”

Seven says nothing for a minute, then takes off his glasses, rubbing at his eyes. “God. I hope not.” He looks up at you. His dark circles are almost as bad as Ray’s…

_ Strange… in the darkness... _

Looking at his face. Without his glasses. You get a tugging at your heart. An ache. 

His face…

He continues, ignoring your stare, or maybe not even seeing it. You’re not sure how poor his eyesight really is. “I can’t tell you any more about that person. You can get into danger too, if you know.”

“Seven…”

_ Ray… _

That sad expression on Seven’s face. It reminds you so much of  _ him _ .

_ I’m so sorry… I wish I could have kept my promise. _

“Um…” Seven’s interjection brings you back to reality. 

Reality, where you see you’ve reached out and pulled the tired hacker into a loose hug.

“Oh, I’m!” You drop your hands to your side. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -”

But he doesn’t step away, and rests his forehead on your shoulder, glasses hanging loosely from one hand. He sighs.

“I don’t care what happens to me,” he says, his voice muffled. “I don’t care…”

Standing this close to him, so much of your body in direct contact with his, you feel your heart pounding.  _ Are… are hackers my weak point? _ A chill, guilty feeling washes over your face.

Seven sighs once more, and straightens up, stepping away from you. “I’m sorry.” He pauses. “Actually, no. I should say: Thank you.” Looking at his face, you continue to have the strongest urge to each out - but you keep your arms at your sides. “You’re kind to worry about me. An angel.”

If only you could comfort Ray like this, too. Both of them have been pushed to their limits, ground down into something much smaller than themselves. Weapons for this lover’s feud. These two lost souls, caught up in other people’s battles…  _ neither of them deserve this. _

“I will never forgive myself, if something ever happens to that person.” It doesn’t sound like Seven is talking directly to you, anymore. Instead, he’s staring past you, at something only he can see.

“He must be important to you, Seven.” 

He blinks, and puts his glasses back on again, after wiping at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie. “I’m sorry, [MC]. I’m sorry you got involved with this. And with me.”

You say nothing. You’re not sure there really is anything useful to say.

“Anyway, I’ll get back to it…” Seven turns around to head back to his laptop, but then straightens, as if being hit with some kind of delayed realisation. “Oh. Uh. [MC]?”

“Yeah?”

He keeps his back to you. “Hackers… are dangerous. You probably… shouldn’t get too close to that Ray guy.” He pulls his hoodie tight around himself. “O-or… me…”

And then he returns to his laptop, and it’s as if the conversation never happened in the first place.

-oOo-

V has been stable for the last few hours. Seven hasn’t left his laptop since you last spoke, and Vanderwood seems to be napping in a chair by the foldout bed.

Maybe the chat room isn’t the best place to convince Ray to leave. If you could just speak privately, where Rika can’t interrupt, you might have a chance.

You quietly move towards a door to the outside, careful not to bump any furniture in the dim light.

“Going somewhere?” You turn at the sound of Vanderwood’s voice. His body hasn’t moved at all, but he’s opened one eye, which gazes at you evenly. “You need to have less rhythm in your step if you want to pretend you’re just the sound of the house settling.”

You smile. Despite his standoff-ish attitude, Vanderwood has taken every opportunity possible to give you useful advice. From showing you how to treat V, to using a taser, to how to have a chance in hell of sneaking out by him unnoticed.

“I’m just going to get some fresh air. I won’t go far.”

“Hmm. Taking the taser?” 

“Yeah.”

Vanderwood closes his eye again. You take it as a sign that you can do what you want. 

The night air is cold, and the light scarf around your neck does little to keep out the chill. You flatten it down in an attempt to increase the surface area protected from the light breeze - fruitlessly. You still haven’t told anyone that the scarf was a gift from Rika.

The stars are very bright, here. 

As you call Ray, a few, tiny droplets of water fall onto your face from the trees above. It must have rained earlier. You hadn’t even noticed.

Ray answers just as you are about to give up. “You called me! I’m so glad. I really, really wanted to talk to you, but I just have so much to do…”

He sounds just as tired as Seven is, although a little more cheerful. “I feel so much better hearing your voice. My headaches have been getting really bad… but if I visit your room… and if I hear your voice… it feels better, for a little while.” His voice grows softer. “I wish you could be here… to stroke my hair… and talk to me. I feel like.” He pauses. “I feel like the headaches and the nightmares would stop, if you did that for me.”

“Ray… I’m so sorry I had to go. It was dangerous to stay with Rika.”

“Dangerous? No. My saviour wants to help you, [MC]. A-although...” His tone becomes thoughtful. “It’s when I left you there with her that things started to go wrong, didn’t they? Is… is that when you started to hate me? Because I didn’t visit you enough? I’m sorry...”

“No!” You’re shocked by how loud your voice sounds in the stillness of the woods. Somewhere, a bush shakes as something small and frightened makes a rapid exit. You lower your voice. “No, I didn’t hate you for that. I just… that’s not why I left.”

Ray still seems to be stuck in his current train of thought. “Is it because I’m not good with words? The saviour did tell me I should hold back with you… that you wouldn’t like me if I let you see too much of me… is that why V took you away?”

“V just wants us all to be safe. Come here, come be part of the RFA. With me! They’ll protect you. They’ll help you… you can stop being a hacker, you can do whatever you want!”

Perhaps the lack of confidence in your own words carries across, or perhaps you just  haven’t found the right combination. Either way, your argument fails.

“[MC]... hacking is all I know how to do. My saviour knew this, found ways to make me learn… if I didn’t have this skill, then maybe I would have been completely abandoned.”

_ Completely _ . You wince.

“I don’t want to be abandoned by the saviour… or you.”

“Ray…”

“I have no worth. I can’t do anything, unless I’m told.” Then, a whisper. “If I came to you… would you tell me what to do?”

That’s… a. Kind of progress.  _ If I come to you.  _

But also. What a thing to ask.

_ If I say yes, will that be enough? But…  _ it’s not what he needs.

_ But if I say yes... _

A choking sound comes down the receiver.

“Ray?!”

“Ugh… [MC]... I’m sorry. I need. I need to go. Need to take more elixr… my head… my heart, too…”

“Ray, don’t drink it! It’s not good for you!”

“No… it takes away the pain… all this crushing pain is washed away… like I’m in the clouds…” he groans, and you can tell he’s turned his head away from the speaker.

“There’s other things you can do, Ray! You don’t have to drink that drug!”

“[MC]... if you come back… maybe I could make it without the elixir. But I can’t heal when you abandon me… If you’re worried about me. Can’t. Can’t you come back?” Another muffled cough. “I really miss you…I can’t survive on my own… only people who grew up in a healthy environment can go out on their own.” His voice shakes. “But I was born wrong.”

“Ray, I’ll come to you, I’ll come, just please hold out a little longer, okay?”

“I’m sorry. I have to go… I need the elixir. And. I-if I can. I’ll come for you. I promise.”

-oOo- 

Hours later, you stare at the messenger in panic as you watch Ray fall apart before your eyes.

> **Ray: My body is burning**
> 
> **Ray: Am I… gonna die?**
> 
> **Ray: I took the elixir like she said.. But it feels different this time**
> 
> **Ray: it hurts… it’s painful**
> 
> **Ray: It hurts so bad**
> 
> **Ray: It hurts so much I’m going to cry…**

And then, he changes.

> **707: Woah, did something happen?**
> 
> **707: The attack pattern completely changed!**
> 
> **Unknown: You’re quick.**
> 
> **Unknown: You’ve been monitoring all along, I guess.**

Seven calls you into the other room, while V stirs restlessly in a fitful sleep.

“[MC]! This new hacker is showing me all kinds of vulnerabilities right now! I think… I think I can beat this one! He’s aggressive, but sloppy, too. I just need more time.” The entire time he has been speaking to you, his fingers haven’t stopped flying across the keyboard. “Can I ask you to keep talking to him while I work? I think it’ll help me finish this even faster, if he’s distracted.”

You would have kept talking to the new person anyway, but you give Seven a quick ‘I’m on it!’ before sitting down  by the doorway to continue chatting.

> **[MC]: What’s happened to Ray?**
> 
> **Unknown: He’s asleep now.**
> 
> **Unknown: I hope he never wakes up,**
> 
> **Unknown: his sadness makes me itch.**
> 
> **Unknown: Don’t worry, I know you just as well as he does.**
> 
> **Unknown: Come here**
> 
> **Unknown: and I’ll teach you what fun really is.**

You swear under your breath. This is the chance Seven needs to turn things around. But - what if Ray has been permanently damaged by this change? 

Just. Keep talking.

Keep him busy.

The chat winds up turning into a call. You raise the phone to your ear in trepidation.

It’s Ray’s voice, but. Not Ray’s voice.

“That was brave, deciding to pick up. I thought you’d be quivering with fear. Not bad.”

Seven may have gained an advantage from this personality shift. But he’s not the only one.

This aggression, this power dynamic. It’s the kind of person you’ve had to deal with your whole life. In some ways, it’s easier to respond to this persona than it was Ray’s. You feel confident you can keep him on the line, so long as you balance your bravado and fear  _ just so _ . Just enough to keep him wanting more.

“You gotta do more than that to make me scared.”

“Ray, that weakling… no wonder he had trouble with you. You’re much more interesting than I thought!” He laughs. It’s nothing like Ray’s laugh, at all. “I decided to give you a call because Ray was being such a whiner… So this is what it feels like to be talking to you directly. Hahaha...haha…! Interesting…I don’t hate it.”

“So… is Ray, still. Is he still there?”

“Ray? He’s getting some shut-eye. He’s been whining and crying and getting on my nerves, so I hope he doesn’t come back.” The voice grows rougher. “First… I’m gonna take out that liar… and then I’m going to take you.”

“Is that what you think?”

“Yeah. Wanna give me some ideas? I’ve already thought of a few ways I’d like to take you, you know. I’ve been thinking about them since I woke up. If you make it easy for me, maybe I’ll let you choose which way I do it. I’d enjoy them all, anyway.” He laughs again, without humour. “Actually, scratch that. I want you to make it hard. It’ll be so much more satisfying when I have you if it’s hard.”

That… was a little more than you were expecting. “What if I just keep running? You don’t even know where we are.”

“Ha! You won’t be able to run long. I’ll destroy V, that readhead… because...I wanna have you…no matter what. Didn’t Ray also say that? You’re mine. And I will take you.” 

Your eyes glance over to Seven, still hunched over his keyboard. He…  _ probably _ can’t hear the other end of the conversation.

Unknown seems to take your silence as a further challenge. “So, ready to beg for Ray back, yet? I wouldn’t recommend it. He might look tame, but you don’t know what he’s hiding inside, like I do… hehehe…” He stops, suddenly, and you hear him say something to someone else. You can’t quite make it out. Something something, your path, something something, I’ll wait, something. Great. Very useful.

Well. You tried.

There are a few other sounds - something metallic, and then a thump, possibly a door shutting. His attention turns back to you. 

“Ohhh… where was I? Yes. That’s right.” His voice takes on an air of delight. “Don’t you wanna know what he imagined about you? He’s screaming at me not to tell… but I think if I told you… maybe you’d like it. You’re  _ dying _ to know, aren’t you?” Unknown hums a few notes to himself, but you don’t recognise the tune. “I could tell you about how he imagined you… writhing… the sounds he’s imagined you making... [MC]...”

“I’m almost there!” Seven hisses to you at possibly the most inappropriate time ever. “Just keep him busy for another… couple minutes… please!”

Unknown continues on his cheerful list of questionable fantasies. “Oh, he’s so desperate for me to stop telling you this. He wants you to think he’s nice.”

You can  _ hear _ the smile in his silence.

“Can you hear him  _ crying _ ?”

“I…”

“Oh well. I’ll save the rest for once I come to get you. I hope you look forward to it.

You better take good care of yourself until I come to take you…”

As you put down your phone, you turn to see Seven stretching, hands reaching over his head, back arching in a single broad curve. You’re pretty sure you hear a couple of cracking noises.

“I’ve done it. I’ve got a way in, now.” He looks over at you and grins, tired eyes still managing to give you a look of genuine satisfaction. “That was just the opening I needed - I really think you helped. Thank you!”

You can’t help but yawn. Seven makes a shoo-ing gesture with his hands.

“By tomorrow morning, I think I’ll be able to get back full control of the messenger. So get some sleep while you can, okay?”

You nod, and give him what is possibly the weakest thumbs up you’ve ever given in your life. He scratches at his head and gives you a sympathetic look. 

“Hang in there [MC]. Tomorrow, we’re going to turn this around. I can feel it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the TV adaption for this fanfic (JUST AN IDEA CHERITZ) this episode would close focusing on Ray/Uknown as he destroys various objects the 'Ray' part of him treasured... and possibly does an outfit change or at least causes his nails to bleed again as he tears at his gloves and holds his bleeding hands up to the moonlight, laughing and crying simultaneously... and this song would be playing in the background - [Kill of the Night (video)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGju9VaQuyg) (if you just wanna [read the lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ginwigmore/killofthenight.html), here ya go).
> 
> This is also the last chapter that adheres to the progression of events in original canon. From this point onwards, things are gonna diverge. 
> 
> If all goes well, MC might even be able to see Ray again in the next chapter... or possibly, Unknown.


	6. I'm not that childish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins on the morning of Day 9. It has links to some events that occur over Day 9 and 10, but we’re very much diverging from the V Route canon over the course of this chapter. I’d made a few minor tweaks to events already, but this is where it gets real folks ಸ‿ಸ

The whine of the cooling fans on Seven’s laptop are so loud you can hear them from the next room. But you haven’t heard him typing for a while.

V is finally moving around again, though stiffly and painfully. Vanderwood continues to keep half an eye on him, while doing some other work on another of Seven’s machines, flicking through maps and a variety of satellite images.

If you had a tray of snacks for every time V had apologised to you so far, you’d probably be halfway to catering the party...

Your stomach growls.

The hideout is well stocked with non-perishable food and basic cooking utensils, although the stove is just a small portable hotplate. You simmer some beans (sadly, without spices) for a while, and then pour them over the top of some rice, enough for both you and Seven. Vanderwood preferred to make his own meals, and V was still only barely managing to keep down water.

You’re hungry enough that it actually smells pretty good. Although what you’d give for at least a little salt…

Stepping carefully around the power cables laid out around the room, you squat down and gently place one of the plates of food next to Seven.

His chin is resting lightly on his chest, and his glasses lie open on his crossed legs.

Nudging your own plate out of the way, you drop to your hands and knees and crawl up behind him, being sure to move without rhythm -  _ thanks Vanderwood.  _ You don’t expect to understand what he’s working on, but you also can’t resist the urge to see exactly what his work actually  _ looks _ like.

As you lean in, Seven’s even, steady breath becomes audible.  _ He must have been so tired.  _ Hopefully Ray - or Unknown - is resting now too. For both their sakes.

This smell…

You’d noticed it yesterday, too.

Underneath the somewhat acrid scent of PhD Pepper and sweat, Seven  _ smells _ familiar, too. It’s a comforting scent. And kind of… hmmmm.

_ Is this some kind of long lost childhood friends drama I’ve stumbled into? _

You don’t really know anything about his past. Maybe the two of you  _ have _ met before. 

It would explain how familiar he’d felt from the moment you’d strapped yourself into his car.

Your eyes flick up to his laptop screen. _Ah, damn_. There’s nothing to see. The laptop has locked itself after Seven’s inactivity. Of course. There’s no way Seven would fall asleep if his work would be vulnerable.

“You…”

Nearly jumping out of your skin, you sit back on your haunches as you hear Seven’s mumbled words. But he’s not awake.

_ Phew.  _ You’d have felt awful if you woke him up right now. He needs every minute he can get.

“I won’t…”

As steam drifts up from your makeshift breakfast, you shuffle around to Seven’s side to listen more closely to his words. Even if it’s just a dream, you’re curious.

“No…”

It’s then you see the tears that have begun to leak slowly from his closed eyes. As you watch, he shivers and knits his eyebrows, setting the water pooling in his eyes on a trail straight down his cheeks onto the glasses in his lap.

You can’t be there for Ray, but at least you can look after Seven. Uncoiling the scarf from around your neck, you carefully drape it over Seven’s shoulders.

A shadow falls across the doorway to the room, and pauses. You see the outline, but don’t look up. A few seconds pass, and the figure moves on, towards the door to the outside.

Seven is still shivering. It’s understandable. Given how tired he is, his body is probably much more sensitive to the early morning cold.

There must be some extra blankets in this safe house. 

You put a hand down next to yourself, to push yourself into a standing position. But before you can push yourself up, you feel the weight…

The weight of Seven’s body, as his arms wrap around yours. You slump back down and twist around to look at him.

“Don’t... let the mother cat…” he pleads, softly. He’s absolutely still asleep. You wouldn’t expect a secret agent to sleep this deeply, but then again, a normal person wouldn’t have made it as long as he has without rest.

His grip isn’t tight, but you aren’t going to be able to get yourself free without wriggling around. You sit quietly for a minute, trapped in the increasingly uncomfortable position. 

“Seven…” you breathe softly, hoping you can influence his behaviour without waking him. “You have to let go.”

He stirs, and the grip on your arm grows tighter. “Why … we always... have to stay apart.”

Even through the dream, the pain in his voice is easy to hear. 

You twist around a little more, and wrap your spare arm around him. It’s the most awkward hug you’ve ever experienced, but he sighs, and relaxes a little at your embrace.

_ I feel bad leaving him, but I’m going to die if he wakes up like this.  _ You can’t help but play the Mission Impossible theme in your head as you slowly extricate yourself from his loosened grip.

As you leave the room, you’re really not sure about how you feel right now. At all. 

...

It takes you almost half an hour of digging through the contents of multiple unlabeled boxes, but you find a sleeping bag amongst the supplies in the hideout’s storeroom. Triumphant, you return to Seven’s workroom.

But he’s not there. 

You’re still standing looking at his laptop in confusion, sleeping bag hanging over your arms, when you hear a cough behind you. 

Seven is standing in the doorway. 

Your - Rika’s - scarf is still hanging over his shoulders, loosely. He blinks, sleepily, and gives you a slightly dopey smile. “Is that for me? Thank you…”

You squeeze the sleeping bag and grin back at him.  _ Huh. _

You’ve only just met him.  _ Just what is it I’m feeling about this guy? _

He steps inside the room and rubs at his nose under his glasses. “Sorry I stepped out for a minute. I heard a car door slam… V was… well, it’s nothing for you to worry about.”

You can’t meet his eyes right now. Which is handy, because with all that floor-gazing you’re doing, you notice the two plates of mostly-cold food still waiting to be eaten. “Oh!” You glance up to find him giving you an indecipherable look. “I, uh. I made beans?”

He gives you a thumbs up, and while his eyes are still tired, you can see he does look a little better than he did before. “I can’t believe I was visited by the bean fairy! I must have been really good!”

Your mind prepares for you to leave, but your mouth says something else: “Wanna eat together?” 

He straightens up. “Yeah... ok! Let’s do that.” Moving to the floor in front of his laptop again, he then turns slightly away from it to face you, and gestures to the space across from him. “Now that I’m feeling on top of things, I’d actually like to talk to you a little more…” you feel yourself getting just a little nervous “...about the hacker. Ray - the careful one. Not that other guy. You only met the one, right?” 

_ Oh. Good. He doesn’t remember this morning, then. _

“Yeah, that’s fine… I’ll tell you what I can.”

Both of you balance plates of lukewarm beans on your laps. 

“Can you describe to me what he looked like?”

Complying, you describe Ray’s height, build, white hair and tired, green eyes. Seven’s expectant face softens a little. “Ah… okay. That’s good.”

“Huh? Why is it good?”

He waves a hand. “It’s nothing. I just… wanted to see if it was anyone I knew. There are a lot of hackers after me, you know!”

Maybe this is the right time to push for help. “So… when Jumin is able to reach Mint Eye’s building… I…” You push the food around your plate with a spoon and frown. “Is there any way we could stop Ray from… getting into any trouble?”

You can feel Seven’s eyes on you, as you continue to push beans into a pile on one side of the plate. “You mean, stop him from being captured as a criminal?”

“He’s not…!” Swallowing your words, you force yourself to lower your voice again. “He’s being used. He’s… he’s a good person. I don’t want him to be… he can’t be locked up… he’d be so miserable… and it’d be…” You meet Seven’s eyes with you own. “It wouldn’t be justice!”

“Hahaha…” Seven leans back a little and gives you a small smile. “You really like this hacker, huh?”

“Uhm…” You stare at the corner of your scarf around his shoulders, as part of it is now dangling dangerously close to the beans. “I do. I know he’s a good person. I know he’s as much a victim in this as the RFA has been.”

Seven points at you with a plastic spoon. “Don’t forget, that includes you, you know.” He waves the spoon in the direction of his laptop. “I know I said it before, but hackers… you really don’t wanna get mixed up with hackers. Trust me on this. As a hacker.”

You laugh. “Just eat your beans already.”

He leans forward to comply, and notices just in time as the scarf is about to drop into the food completely. Pulling at the other end, he rolls it up in one hand and looks at it in surprise. “Oh… this is yours, right?”

“Ah… yeah.” 

He continues to stare at the scarf, brow furrowed. Then, as he looks back up at you, it’s like he’s just seen the most brilliant sunrise. “I heard your voice in my dreams this morning, now that I think about it.”

You feel very, very exposed. “O-oh? What did I say?”

He looks at you thoughtfully. “I don’t really remember. But it seemed important.” You’re relieved as he shifts his gaze to the ceiling, raising his hands above himself and twisting from side to side. Part of your scarf trails down one arm, though most is still bunched together in his hands. “Aahhhh… better. I wonder, though. What does it mean when someone appears in your dreams, hmmm?”

“Uhm...”

“Ahh - sorry, I’m just teasing you~” He shifts himself back around to face his laptop, bean breakfast still untouched in his lap. “I feel lucky you’re around, though. Although, it’d be best for you... I mean, once all this is done... we won’t meet again... but-” He glances over to you once more, and presses the scarf back into your hands. “-until then, I’ll think of you as my good luck charm, okay?”

He stretches again and then cracks his knuckles loudly. “Okay. I’d better use that advantage I gained last night and finish this - I’ll let you know when we’ve won!”

It’s then that Vanderwood enters the room. “Hey. Just thought you should know, but that blue-haired invalid wandered outside again.”

Seven huffs. “I only just told him…! V!! You idiot!! Why are you like this??”

To be honest, you could do with some air after that exchange. “I’ll go bring him back!” 

Vanderwood gives you the side-eye. “Hmm.”

“I’ll bring the taser!” You gesture to the borrowed messenger bag on your shoulder. It hasn’t been out of arm’s reach since Vanderwood gave it to you. Who knows when you’ll need to leave in a hurry again. You don’t want to have to leave anything important behind a second time.

Seven glances between the two of you. “One of us can go with you…”

“Woah!” Vanderwood exhales sharply as you squeeze past him in the doorway.

“Sorry!!! Can’t hear you!!! Already leeeaving!!!”

-oOo-

You’ve checked Seven and Vanderwood’s cars. You’ve looked all around the outside perimeter of the safe house, up until the point where the tree line grows thick. You've even tried to check the footprints in the mud alongside the path that leads back to the main road (turns out you need more than a few tips from Vanderwood to do that properly, though).

V is nowhere to be found.

Carrying a taser is one thing, but you don't trust yourself to get too far out of sight of the hideout without getting lost.

As you walk back towards the building, you hear an argument breaking out.

"No more! Didn't you shout 'victory!' last night? What happened to that? 'One day' you said. What if we get another mission while we're out here?"

"Just a little more time, Madam, please. And how are you going with those satellite images?"

"I've had enough of those images!" Vanderwood's voice is irritated, but not particularly aggressive. Still, you're not sure you want to walk in on them while they're like this.

Vanderwood continues. "I'm not sure a car is worth all this... honestly. You're not yourself, Seven Zero Seven."

If there's a response from Seven, you don't hear it.

Vanderwood lowers his voice, but it still cuts through the morning silence all the same. "Is it because of [MC]? They've spent a lot of time looking after V... are you jealous or something?" He falls silent, and then - "So that's your type, huh?"

Seven's voice is tired. "I don't know what you think you're seeing, but I'm not that childish. And you know I don't think about things like that. I'm not interested in them. At all."

Oh.

_ Wait. ‘Oh’? _

It’s just. It’s not that you were thinking about him that way yet (‘ _ Yet?!’ _ part of you shrieks in embarrassment) but…  it hurts to hear someone just outright state that you’re not even remotely interesting to them.

_ He makes it sound like we’re not even friends. I mean. I guess that would be asking too much, huh. _

You don’t want to listen to any more of this. Pushing open the front door, you hear the agents in the workroom fall silent. Vanderwood steps out half a breath later.

“Hey… no luck?” He clicks his tongue. “How did he vanish in that condition?”

“I don’t really know what to do... “

Seven's voice sounds just like it did when he rescued you and V. Calm. Emotionless. "That other hacker has started up again. I can't stop right now or I might lose my advantage. I'm nearly back in full control."

Vanderwood sighs. "Right. The sooner you finish, the sooner I’m outta here. And I need a break anyway."

The two of you leave, receiving nothing but silence from the work room.

Vanderwood doesn’t beat around the bush.“So… how much did you hear of that?” 

“Uh…” You go to fiddle with your scarf, but realise it’s still in a ball in your messenger bag. “Seven… is he...?” You’re not even sure what question it is you really want answered. "Did I... bother... him?"

Vanderwood lets out a surprised chuckle. “Someone bothering  _ him _ ? God, I wish. He’s earned it, a hundred times over.” He looks down at you. “This is just how he is, you know? His goofy smile pisses me off, and he slacks off half the time, but he’s a hell of a professional on the field. I wouldn’t take it personally.” Vanderwood stops, and you think he’s noticed something, but then you see the flare of a lighter at his cupped hands. The agent inhales deeply, then blows out strong-smelling smoke. “He doesn’t really have emotions. He just works, and lets off steam. Could be worse. It’s actually pretty beneficial in this…” He lowers the cigarette. “Right. Someone walked through the woods, here.”

It takes about ten minutes for the two of you to reach your destination.

V is lying in a pool of blood, curled up, with his hands pressed over his stomach.

“What the-” Vanderwood pauses, eyes flicking over to you briefly “-heck.”

On closer inspection, V’s in even worse shape than you originally thought. Blood pools around his fingers from the wound on his stomach - he’s lost a lot more than is healthy.

Vanderwood uses V’s lightweight coat and some supplies hidden somewhere on his person to staunch the bleeding a little. “He’s been stabbed. He absolutely has to go to a hospital now. If it was just this… I could...” Vanderwood winces, and picks up the bloody mess of a man from the forest floor. “But not when he’s already so weak.”

Somehow, V is still partially conscious. 

“[MC]...” You almost don’t hear him, his voice is so weak. From his eyes, he doesn’t seem like he’s fully aware of what’s going on. But he manages to focus somewhat on you.

“If I don’t make it… [MC]... don’t...” His next words are too soft.

“V, what is it?”

“Don’t let… Luciel… go to Mint Eye again... he can’t...”

“But, V - we might have to.”

“No… please. He can’t…”

You match pace with Vanderwood, leaning as close as you can to hear V’s words.

“He can’t meet… his brother…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. Uh, I mean, next chapter is going to be the one where Seven learns the truth, and he and MC decide to take action.
> 
> Because you haven’t been distracting V as much as you do on his actual route in the game, he decided to take matters into his own hands and just fricken texted Rika his location to 'talk things out' because: what the fuck, V. 
> 
> Can't wait to post the next chapter, thank you everyone so much for your support!
> 
> Oh yeah, have a relationship diagram for this fic:
> 
>  


	7. Raise your hands up, and bleed for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, we will get to see Seven's reaction to the news. This chapter jumps back and forth in time initially - I hope it isn't confusing!

There’s still blood under your fingernails. And on your clothes. And probably, given the number of times you’ve rubbed at it, your face.

You drive.

Vanderwood's car handles the unsealed roads well, although you wistfully recall the tiger-like grace of Seven's sports car.

Seven is bent over in the back seat, a clunky satellite receiver by his side, laptop in front of him. A long cord extends from his machine to a custom power outlet neatly integrated into a panel by the gearbox. There’s even a little clip to keep the cord neat, so that it doesn’t get in the way when you need to change gears.

What Vanderwood's car lacked in flashiness, it made up for in utility.  _ There's probably a button for like, a flamethrower in here.  _ Although... maybe not. That seems a little unsubtle for a guy like him.

Seven hasn’t spoken since you left. He’s still pushing against one final barrier between him and regaining full control of the messenger.

And besides, he has a lot to think about…

 

-oOo-

 

_ A few hours earlier… _

As you help Vanderwood lower V’s bloodied body onto the makeshift bed, Seven calls to you from his darkened work room “Did you find him?” 

Vanderwood has already begun removing the makeshift bandages. “Yeah - and it’s not good. We need to get this guy to a hospital -  _ today. _ ” He gestures to his bag, and you bring it over to his side. As he pulls a number of items from it to assist with dressing the wound, a drop of blood lands onto the pristine leopard print fabric. He mutters something under his breath, then calls out to Seven again. “They must know where we are now.”

Seven appears in the doorway, but freezes on seeing V’s body.

“He’s been stabbed, once. I’ll have him ready to transport shortly. Better pack fast.” Vanderwood is all business, although you can hear the question in his voice all the same.  _ Just what the hell  _ is  _ the RFA? _

“V!” Seven’s whole body is shaking.

Just then, your phone rings. It’s Rika.

She’s crying.

It’s hard to make out her words. She’s out of breath, and the audio isn’t very clear. “He’s still alive, isn’t he? I couldn’t have… he’s still alive, right?”

You say you hope so, and she hangs up, still distraught. Her number doesn’t appear on your phone, so there’s no way to call her back. You look up to find Seven at your side. He doesn’t need to ask the question so clearly on his mind.

“That was Rika… she… I think she might have...”

He grimaces. “God. She really has... She’s really done it, hasn’t she?” He clearly doesn’t expect an answer. He just stares at V, close to crying, hands clenched.

A few moments more, and then he shakes his head and wipes at his face with a sleeve. “Okay. I won’t let you down, V. We’ll get you to safety. We’ll end this.”

As Seven prepares to leave, you assist Vanderwood with his work on V. Then the two of you slowly, carefully shift him out to the back of Seven’s car on a makeshift bedsheet stretcher. 

“Okay. I’m going to get my stuff ready. If you don’t have anything to do, you…” Vanderwood gives you a level look. “I can tell I’m going to regret saying this, but I feel like that guy needs you.” 

You glance down at V.

Vanderwood snorts. “Hah. Yeah, him too.” His voice becomes incredulous. “What are these idiots all doing relying on some unrelated person like you…? Weren’t you one of the victims…?” He sighs, then gestures broadly back to the hideout. “Anyway. I meant Zero Seven. Wouldn’t be good if he just spaced out right now.”

Right.

You need to talk to him, anyway.

_ His face… _

_ Ray’s face… _

V had said it himself.  _ He can’t meet his brother. _

...

Inside, Seven is busily storing some device you don’t recognise into a carry case. He looks up as you enter, though. “[MC]”. He casts his gaze back to the equipment in his hands. “You must be pretty scared right now, huh. I’m sorry… I couldn’t protect you guys fast enough.”

“That’s not true…!”  _ Isn’t it, though? _ Your thoughts bite at the edges of your attempt at a reassuring face.  _ If he’d just ignored V’s request and gone straight to a hospital... _

Seven gives you a weak smile. “Thanks… but, I’m still sorry.”

Your feel the weight of everything that has happened over the last few days pressing on your back.  _ Am I about to do something really stupid? _

_ V must have hid this for a reason… _

You grip a little harder onto the messenger bag at your side and breathe out, slowly.  _ I can only trust myself. Only myself… and this time… I... _

You walk over to his side and squat down. “Seven. V told me something I think you should hear…”

This close to him, that familiar scent... Underneath the grime and sweat, you can smell it. And this close, his eyes…the shape of his face…

You maybe stare a little too hard, but unlike the last time, Seven doesn’t tease you. He drops his gaze to his hands, and lets his fringe hang in front of his face. “Y-yeah?”

Something in you wants to reach out to him again. Your heart rate starts to increase... 

But. This is no time to think about things like this.

Your next words have him glancing up at you in shock, any awkwardness about your closeness forgotten. “Seven. You have a brother, don’t you?”

Seven’s mouth hangs open. “V… he told you about…?”

“I think I’ve met him.”

Seven’s hands go to your forearms, almost throwing you off balance. His voice is low, underpinned by a strange mix of emotions. You can hear anger, there. But also, a little hope. “When…? Please… what’s going on? Where is he? What… what did V tell you?!”

To avoid being pulled completely off your feet, you drop from your squat onto the floor. Seven releases your arms, eyes flicking down to his own hands in what looks like surprise. And then, his attention is all on you once more.

You tell him about how he seemed so familiar to you from the moment you met. About the other hacker… how Ray… how, now that you think about it, how similar he was. The lighter build, and the different hair and eye colours hand thrown you off, but -

V’s words had made it all so obvious to you, finally.

“You’re saying,” Seven tries to control the shaking in his voice, and fails miserably. “You’re saying I’ve been fighting my brother this whole time? They’ve forced him to… they’ve made him just like me? I can’t...” In his lap, his hands clench into fists. “What kind of sick game is this?”

You don’t know what to say. You go to place a hand on his back, but he flinches at the contact.

“V… why would he do this?” His eyes widen, and he almost grabs your arms again before managing to stop himself part-way. “You’re certain? That’s what you heard? That’s what you saw? You really, really think you saw my brother?”

You nod, soundlessly. 

Seven stares at you for what feels like another five minutes, although it’s surely only a few more seconds. Then, he closes his eyes, and exhales slowly.

“I’m sorry to ask this, but - I’m going to need to change our plans. And I’m going to need your help.”

“You’re going to save him, aren’t you?” You can’t hide the anticipation in your voice. “I want to help. I want to save Ray.”

“Saeran.” Seven opens his eyes once more. “His name is Saeran.”

 

-oOo-

 

“Don’t forget, you have a turn coming up in about ten minutes. A left. It’s not signposted, so keep your eyes out.”

It’s the first words Seven has spoken since you left in Vanderwood’s car together.

You still wonder at how smoothly Seven was able to react to the situation. All he’d had to do was to tell Vanderwood to go on towards the hospital first with V, with the reasoning being, he needed a little longer to completely beat the Mint Eye hacker first.

Vanderwood had pushed back, but Seven offered him the car in exchange for his help ensuring V’s safety.

“Weren’t you giving me the car anyway?”

“Forget the satellite images. Now all you need to drive to the hospital. That’s a much better deal, right?”   
  


Vanderwood had grudgingly agreed. “Just don’t take too long. This has already gone way beyond what is healthy for me to be involved with as an intelligence agent…”

Before Vanderwood pulled away in Seven’s sportscar, you’d seen the look Seven was directing at the unconscious passenger in the back seat.

You’d never thought a guy like him… could ever look like that.

“About V…” you’d started, as the red sportscar pulled away.

“I don’t care what happens to him anymore.” Seven’s voice is harsh. He watches the car disappear into the distance, that same expression still distorting his face. “I just couldn’t have Vanderwood know what we’re about to do.”

You’d decided not to press the issue. And other than a few, short instructions, and the directions he’d just given you in the car, he hadn’t said a word more about the situation.

...

You take the left turn when it comes up, and not long after that, Seven finally speaks again.

“Pull over, here.” His words are tired, but relieved. “I’ve done it. We’ve got the messenger back. And we need to talk.”

 

-oOo-

 

You knew you’d taken comfort in the RFA’s presence before, but you didn’t realise quite how much you’d missed them. As Zen and Yoosung appear in the chatroom with you for the first time in ages, you want to kiss your screen. And never, ever leave the chatroom again.

You and Seven share the events of the last day or so with everyone, and Seven makes a few phone calls. You don’t catch all of what he says, as you’re juggling phone calls of your own, but clearly some kind of assistance is being arranged through the C&R information unit. 

_ We’re coming. We’ll save you, Ray. _

Finally, once all the communications are over, Seven throws you some kind of foil-wrapped snack food. “So… you deserve to know about. About Saeran and I.” He worries at the edges of his own meal, tearing lightly at the package without opening it. “This secret. I don’t want anyone else hurt because of it.”

His hands continue to fumble with the foil wrapper, devoid of purpose. You notice his fingernails are bitten down painfully low. 

And so. He tells you. About himself. About Saeran.

About the lie he has had to live almost his entire life.

 

-oOo-

 

Seven had taken over driving for the remainder of the journey, asking that you keep an eye on both Ray and Rika, who still had retained their access to the messenger. Ray had been… oddly silent, but Rika had already made several attempts to confuse the other members. Especially Yoosung.

Your phone’s ability to connect to the network began to deteriorate, and you tried calling Ray one last time before the bars dropped to zero.

“It’s you…”

It’s Ray’s voice. Not Unknown’s voice. Your relief and your tiredness combine to make you feel like you’re floating. “Ray… thank goodness!”

“I missed you… I missed you so much.” His voice sounds distant, although the connection could be to blame for that. “I lost… it’s all over… and now I’ll -” he wavers “-I’ll never get to see you again. This is it…”

“No, Ray! It’s not -”

He interrupts you, almost as if he hadn’t heard you speak. “I wanted so badly… to let every single word you say to me… control me utterly.” His voice cuts out for a moment, and you miss a few words. “to hold... and... consumed by you… if I could have just placed myself inside your heart, I’d have…” The call deteriorates further.

“Ray, please, wait for me! I’m coming to you, I’m-”

Through the hiss at the other end of the line, you make out a few more words. “The regret of holding back…it hurts… I should have…” His voice is so, so far away now. “... but now… it… you… goodbye… but… I wish…”

“Ray! I-”   
  


“...I wish you would touch me, one last time. Even if it was just -”

And the connection goes dead.

 

-oOo-

 

“We’re here.”

Seven’s plan is similar to his last one. They wouldn’t have had time to modify their security systems yet, especially not when Ray had been so occupied with other tasks. 

Sneak in. Find Ray. And then… and then…

You’re not sure what Seven plans to do after that. You’re not sure he knows, either.

Safety-wise, it would be best to wait for Jumin’s back-up to arrive. It can’t be that far away, now. But you can already tell from Seven’s expression that he isn’t going to wait a minute longer to see Ray face to face. To see if he really is… who you think he is.

You’re in agreement.

“Stay here. I’ll go in alone, like last time. Easier to stay undetected. I’ll find him. Bring him out. You keep an eye out for me here. And keep that close to you at all times.“ Seven nods to a somewhat modified-looking walkie talkie he’d handed to you earlier. “When Jumin arrives, if I’m not back yet, press this one button - it won’t give me away with sound, but it’ll let me know help is here.”

“Okay. But, Seven-”

“Yeah?”

“Ray knows me. We...” You hold the walkie talkie close to your chest. “We get along. If I just show up and ask to see him, then he might -”

Seven shakes his head. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m really happy that you’ve been there for my brother. But. Rika has… this isn’t going to be solved easily. Right now, getting him out of there fast is our best option.  _ Before _ Jumin’s people arrive.” 

You nod. What else can you do? He’s a secret agent. He’s  _ trained _ for this stuff. What can you possibly offer in comparison to that…?

Shortly after, Seven leaves, making his way carefully and quietly towards the garden.

_ What else can I offer…? _

You know it’s a bad idea, but after he makes a little headway, you quietly get up and follow along behind, copying his movements.

And then, as Seven reaches the garden, it all goes horribly wrong.

“Who the hell are you?!” As if from nowhere, a Believer appears in front of Seven. The robed man calls out at the top of his lungs. “Over here! Intruder!”

Their electronic security might not have been tightened, but clearly, the Believers are on high alert. And Seven was rushing… and tired...

He begins to grapple with the Believer, and it looks as though he’s winning. But in another section of the garden, you can see a second Believer approaching. And something is glinting in his hands.

Seven is vulnerable.

You pick up speed, giving up all pretense of hiding.  _ If I don’t get to him in time, then-! _

Your heavy footsteps attract the attention of the second Believer, losing any surprise you might have been able to use. You’re not sure what you’re going to do, but -

“[MC]!” Seven has wrestled the other Believer to the ground and is pressing on his windpipe with one knee. “Don’t-!”

And then the second hooded figure raises an arm, and you see the knife glinting in their grip.

“Seven!”

The Believer takes a swipe at Seven, and he rolls out of the way, releasing his original attacker, who coughs roughly and swipes at the agent, managing to grab the hem of his jeans just enough to make him stumble. The determination of your attackers seems greater than their interest in their own safety.

And then, the knife-wielding believer raises his weapon again...

You’re not sure how you close the distance so rapidly. You feel like you stopped breathing minutes ago, though the blood pumping oxygen to every muscle of your body rings in your ears.

“[MC]!”

The sunlight reflects harshly on the knife as it swoops down in one deadly arc...

The pain doesn’t hit you at first - just a feeling of cold shock that runs from your palms to your elbows.

Or is what you’re feeling the just the blood that is now streaming from your hands…?  _ But, shouldn’t it be warmer…? _

It doesn’t feel like you’ve been cut at all. But there the knife is, pushing deep against both of your palms. Somewhere behind you, Seven gasps as air is knocked out of his lungs by some unseen attack.

It doesn’t matter. You feel unstoppable. You grip the blade tighter - it still doesn’t hurt the way you would have expected - and manage to force your attacker to drop it onto the ground. Dirt adheres to the blade immediately, sticky with your blood.

And then. Then the pain hits. You stumble backwards. Your attacker squats down to retrieve their knife.

“[MC]! No!!”

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking. But. It’s not Seven’s voice you hear, this time.

It’s…

“Ray…”

Everything seems so bright and sharp. You try to look down at your own hands, but all you see is a mess of colours. The impact on your knees as you fall barely registers in your mind.

“You idiots! Get away!” 

The voice grows closer.

You try to force yourself to keep your eyes open. To stay conscious. You try… but you’re so tired, all of a sudden. 

_ My hands… I feel so light... _

“[MC]!!!”

You feel someone gripping you. Shoulders, you think.  _ Or something around my back? _

You feel like you’re rising up into the sky, supported by warm, familiar-smelling beams of light…

“!!!” You can’t understand what the voice is saying to you, any more. But you force your eyes open again. 

There’s purple… blue… and a bright, familiar green…

“Ray…”

And then, darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like we're back in Ray's arms once more. Progress???
> 
> I'm not entirely sure how many more chapters there will need to be to fully resolve this. I imagine the total chapters for this fic will be something from 10 - 15, depending on just how long some of the remaining scenes are to write. I know how it's going to work out, but sometimes I surprise myself with how many words just a few events can take!
> 
> Thank you everyone for your support with this fic so far! I'll continue posting as frequently as I can until Ray is saved. We can do it!!!
> 
> Oh yeah, also, yesterday I published a game! And it's totally free, I make no $ from it, so I'm allowed to link to it here without breaking any AO3 rules ^^; The game is [There Are Limits](https://t.co/TnC57ZJCNk) and it is about being trapped without understanding why. It's a choice-based text game, ish. Play it if you want to experience some Feels (TM). It will only take about ten minutes to get to one of the five endings ^^ If you like my writing, you might enjoy this, too!


	8. If my engine dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seven's presence and Rika's absence is only going to increase Ray's swings between his "Ray" and "Unknown" personas. Good thing MC is used to dealing with people like Unknown.

Taste. Touch. Smell. Your senses jumble together as you slowly rise once more to consciousness.

There's a scent… something familiar… and flowers... the taste of salt... a feeling of warmth. A lot of warmth, actually. You can feel your hair sticking to your scalp with sweat.

More uncomfortable still is the throbbing in your hands, and the constricting pressure on your wrists and ankles.

Opening your eyes seems... so difficult, though.

You just want to keep sleeping...

But your temperature continues to rise.

Finally, the discomfort is powerful enough that you force yourself awake, despite the lethargy weighing down your entire body.

"Mmmmph..." Your mouth feels dry, like you've left it hanging open for hours.

You open your eyes, to discover part of the reason why your temperature has risen so much.

Your wrists are bound, arms raised above your head. They don't seem to be attached to anything else - but you can't lower them, because nestled between your raised arms and your prone body is Ray.

His forehead is buried in your chest, and one arm circles your waist while another is raised above his own head, like yours. The fingers of his raised hand rest lightly on your forearms.

It doesn't do anything for your temperature when you notice his knee pushed up between your legs, interlocking neatly, like you two had been sleeping together like this for years.

His embrace feels so natural. You find yourself wanting to stroke his hair, as if you were comforting a younger sibling...

_Oh._

That's right. He _is_ someone's younger sibling.

It feels.

 _He_ feels...

Safe. Stupidly, unrealistically safe.

Despite the pain in your hands. The ropes around your limbs. And, well. The surreal and dangerous nature of. All of this.

The way he talks about you, the way he talks about everything, really... deep inside, you feel his heart is still a child’s. As if it stopped beating when he was separated from his brother… As if part of him was locked away.

You want to unlock that part. You want to see him become whole again: no elixirs, no saviours, no hacking. You want to see what he’s like, when his heart is able to beat again, for real. What song he will play, orchestrated by no one but himself. And it’s not just because you see a mirror of who you were when you look into his eyes.

You want to help him for Seven, too.

 _Saeyoung._ Not that it seemed like he was ready to start using that name again, yet.

_How did he get caught so easily? He’s so skilled..._

If you could move properly, you’d shrug. But it's probably for the best that you can't. If you tried now, you’d be crushing Ray’s head between your chest and your chin. Which: not an ideal way to wake anyone up.

You feel delirious, dizzy laughter building in your stomach, but the rest of your body is screaming: I'm going to die of dehydration. That part eventually wins out.

"Hey..." Your voice sounds dry, and cracked.

He doesn't react, and your heart rate speeds up even more than it did at finding him next to you. _He didn't take too much elixir and poison himself like V did, right?_

You wiggle your body just a little, to give him a small shake, and lift your hands - _ouch_ \-  so that his raised arm falls back onto the pillow.

"Hey... are you...?"

Finally, he stirs. He tilts his head backwards, and raises his sleepy green eyes to meet yours.

_He's..._

“Oh… [MC]...” His voice is barely above a whisper. “You… it’s like… every muscle in my body has relaxed all at once…” His eyes are shining. “I’ve… never slept like this… since he…”

He closes his eyes, and the wetness around them spills over onto his cheeks. “This is just another dream. Just another cruel dream…” The arm around your waist squeezes you closer, and you exhale sharply as the combined pressure of his body and his grip pushes the air from your lungs.

Your throat is so, so dry.

“Ray… I’m thirsty… please…”

He opens his eyes and stares at you for a second, a clouded expression slowly morphing into surprise and recognition. “Wait…”

The smile that creeps over his features is so slow, so relaxed. It’s as if his entire face changes. The only smiles he'd shared with you before had been thin, easily broken things.

This smile is different.

This smile...

“That’s right… you came back to me, didn’t you?” He stares at your face - all the previous distance between you seems like a long-ago memory. It's difficult not to look away while you're being studied so intently, but the expression on his face is magnetic. “It felt like I’d never see you again, but. You came back.”

Then he buries his face in your chest again and squeezes you close once more.

The two of you stay like that for a minute, and you feel your own heartbeat strongly from the pressure against your chest. But. when he looks up again, the tension is back in his face. The smile has grown small and fragile once more.

“I can’t… let you leave, ever again. You can’t. I couldn’t survive, if you left me again.”

 _I need you, I can’t live without you._ You remember those words being spoken by another, not so many months ago. Someone who would beg and beg, and then, once they had what they wanted. They would hurt.

_Is this the same…? Is my life… always going to circle around…?_

You stare, tired, sore and dizzy with thirst. You stare, at that small, delicate smile.

_I just want to see him smile like just before._

_I want to protect... that smile..._

“Ray -” your voice cracks once more “- I really need water.”

“Oh. Oh!” He sits up, and you realise he’s only wearing his white shirt, now, which has been stained with flecks of red. You roll to your side to watch as he stands. You’ve never seen him without the jacket before. His figure is slim, compared to Seven’s broader, more physically robust form. Where Seven is firm, Ray is taut. Where Seven is round, Ray is just a little hollow.

That, and the different hair and eyes, comfort you a little as to why it took you so long to realise they were related.

You remember your conversation from forever ago, about the two twigs…

“I’m so sorry you were hurt.” Ray is at the table by the window, pouring water from a jug into a glass. “Your hands…”

You swing your legs around to the edge of the bed. Your ankles are tied loosely enough that blood flow isn’t too restricted, but tight enough that you feel like you’re trying to fling around a tail. Bandages hide the wounds you can feel throbbing underneath on the palm of your hands, and they have the added benefit of making the rope at your wrists slightly more comfortable.

Experimentally, you wiggle a few fingers. The movement pulls at the skin of your palms in a painful way, making your eyes water a little.

Ray returns, sitting next to you on the bed. “Here… you can’t hold it, so…”

As he pours the smallest bit of water into your mouth, your body responds with a shiver. It’s cold, and so good, and you drink every drop you can.

Ray watches you drink, slowly tilting the glass, pausing every few moments so you can rest. “You know, you look very beautiful, like this. I was too nervous before, but when you’re like this…” That thin smile. “I feel a little more confident...”

You know you should slow down, but you keep drinking until the cup is empty. It’s difficult to tell how long you’ve been unconscious, but it feels like years.

“Do you want me to pour another glass?”

You shake your head, and attempt to speak again. The water has done wonders. “Ray, about your brother-”

Maybe, you should have waited a bit longer to bring him up.

A dark expression settles on Ray’s face. “Oh. He told you, did he?”

“V did. But when I asked Seven, he explained everything. About how he was forced to leave you when you were both young. When your name was Sa-”

“No!” Ray stands, and the glass rolls from his hand to the floor. “No! Don’t - don’t use that name with me. I don’t… I don’t want to be -” He hugs himself, his back to you. “I don’t want those parts of me…”

And then, he starts to laugh, and it starts to sound… like something you’ve heard only once before. Not Ray’s laugh. _His laugh._

“I can’t do this just on my own, can I? I can’t do this just as Ray. Not after I lost… even if you’re back, the Saviour…” He straightens up, and something about his posture makes you tense, wincing as you unthinkingly grip at your clothing with your bound hands.

He continues talking, still facing the wall across from you. “The Saviour… told me to follow the manual, if I lost… but now you’re here… and he’s here… what do I do? I…”

He turns, and steps directly in front of you, dropping to his knees. His arms reach out to wrap around your waist once more, and then he rests his head on your lap. “[MC]... tell me what to do…”

“I…” You try to place your hands on his head, but feels like you’re trying to control a puppet’s arms. Your body is just so heavy, so tired. “I think we should go to the RFA, with your brother. We can get help, you don’t have to hack anymore, Ray. You can get help...”

He jerks away from you, and stands once more. “No! Y-you! You don’t understand what he did to me! What he’ll do again!” His face is a picture of despair. “You don’t want me to be locked away, do you? You don’t…” Silent tears begin to pool in his eyes once more, and it hurts even more than your hands do. “You aren’t just trying to leave me again, are you?”

“Ray, no, I-”

He wipes at his face with the arm of his shirt. “No.” His voice grows steadier. “You can’t leave me again. I can’t… I can’t be weak anymore. I have to deal with this myself. Until I can get in contact with the Saviour again.”

“Ray, Seven missed you so much, please, if you don’t trust me, talk to him! He wants to-”

“He wants you too, doesn’t he?” Ray’s accusing words are spat out like poison. “Of course he does. That redhead. He won’t be satisfied unless he takes everything…” His gaze on you becomes cool, and distant. “Did he touch you? Did he…?”

Looking into Ray’s fierce expression, you can’t help but remember the hug you shared at the hideout. And that morning, when Seven grabbed your arm in his sleep…

Some hint of this must have shown on your face, because Ray’s expression twists even further. “He can’t. Have you. He won’t. Take you from me. You’re _mine.”_

He leans down, so close to your face that you can feel the heat of his breath - and that scent, so like, but at the same time, so unlike Seven’s. “I chose you. And you came with me. You’re not his.” He grabs your shoulders tightly. “ _You’re not his!_ ”

The expression on his face is unlike anything you’ve seen on Ray before. And his voice… sounds so…

_It’s just like that phone call._

“You’re not Ray right now, are you?” You try to hold his gaze, but every second you stare into those eyes, your resolve falters a little further.

“Oh, who am I? You want to know?” He laughs. The same harsh sound as before. “I can change to be whatever I need to be, for you. I feel myself changing a little every day. I’ll become whoever I need to become, to survive. And to protect what’s precious to me.”

He glances down at your bandaged hands, and covers them with his own. “Such a shame to have those lovely hands damaged. But… sometimes you have to treat pain with pain. That’s how I was created, you know. It’s how I came to have value in this world.” He gives your hands the tiniest, smallest squeeze. You can’t help but squeak at the sudden bite of pain. He shifts his hands to your wrists. Raising them to his lips, he places a small, dry kiss on each, before gently resting your hands back down on your knees.

“But didn’t I tell you on the phone? Ray wants you to think he’s nice. He doesn’t want you to know…” he runs a finger across your collarbone “...all those things he wants to do with you. He doesn’t even know what to call some of them, that marshmallow boy.”

And then, his lips are at your ear, and he whispers. “But I don’t need to know the words to do them to you. You and I, we’ll reach paradise together. One way or the other.”

You take a deep breath and try to remind yourself what you’d learned from Seven: _he’s far more careless when he’s like this. He slips up._

“So… you’re acting without Rika right now, aren’t you? You're in charge?”

He pulls away and eyes you thoughtfully. “That’s right... it’s just me here, now. Making all the decisions for Mint Eye.” He smiles, widely. “I can even go sort out that redhead, if I want. The Saviour will forgive me. She told Ray to follow the manual, after all. She’s headed to the apartment right now. She’ll contact me again when she’s there. But until then…” He hums tunelessly, and turns to pick up something from the dressing table.

His jacket.

It’s soaked with blood. You hope for Seven’s sake, that it’s only yours.

He flings the stained jacket over his shoulder, and if it wasn’t for all the blood, he’d look quite dashing. “Until the saviour calls me from that apartment… I’m in control.”

He leaves the room, locking the door behind him. On the ground, to one side, lies a familiar blue rose.

Only now, it’s stained with splotches of dark, visceral red.

-oOo-

Moving around the room is difficult. Your bound ankles make it impossible to walk, and trying to hop sends your already dizzy head spinning even further.

But after a few false starts, you manage to shuffle awkwardly towards the dresser.

On the dressing table, sits the dull grey messenger bag Vanderwood gave you, although it too has been stained with flecks of blood. _Just how much did I lose?!_

Using your hands is more challenging than moving around. Not only do you have to deal with the bound wrists, but gripping anything with your aching, bandaged hands is a nightmare. Still, you wincingly, hesitantly get the bag open.

Your heart leaps as you examine the contents. Your phone is still there! And the taser, too!

Agonisingly slowly, you transfer the taser to your bed, hiding it under the pillow. The phone, you rest on top of the bedsheets. But before you return to try it out, you shuffle over to the rose on the floor, and try to pick it up. It just… hurts seeing it lie there.

It hurts even more when you stumble and fall onto your knees trying to retrieve it. You freeze for a minute, barely breathing, and listen intently for even the smallest sound outside your door.

But nothing happens, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Back on the bed, you drop the rose next to you, and do your best to bring up the RFA messenger. With your bandaged hands, there’s no way for you to type out a useful message to anyone. Your wrapped fingers don’t even register on the touch screen.

It’s going to have to be a phone call. You kick off a shoe, saying ‘thank you’ to your past self for being too lazy to wear anything with complex laces.

Calling Jaehee makes the most sense, but, you can’t help but try one other person first…

_Ring ring… ring ring..._

After entering into the address book with your feet, you’d flipped your body around to rest your ear next to the speaker. Every unanswered ring feels like another cut in your skin.

As the phone continues to ring unanswered, you feel a lump form in your throat.

But, just as you’re about to end the call, the phone begins to play an echoey, hollow silence.

“Seven…?” Your voice is mingled with hope and fear.

You hear nothing for a few seconds, but something shuffles softly in the background of the call.

“Seven… is this you? Can you hear me?”

Someone coughs, in a way that makes your chest ache in sympathy. And then, faintly, and filled with echoes, you hear his voice.

“[MC]... it’s you, isn’t it? I gave you that ringtone after all, haha…” You strain to pick up his words. “I’m sorry… I hope you can hear me. I’m a bit tied up...haha… no. This… isn’t the time for jokes, is it? Although, I wish I could see you smiling right now…”

“Seven, where are you? Are you hurt?”

“Hmm? Oh, I’m sorry [MC], I think I can hear you speaking, but, I can’t hold my face close to the phone the way I am… I’m not going to be able to talk to you properly. So, just listen to me for a little while, okay? There’s no one with me right now. But I heard them talking earlier about coming back, to begin, well... just listen, okay?”

He continues. “I think I’m in the same place V was before. When I came for you. Do you remember…? I’ve only seen those masked guys, so far, but… I’m hoping I can talk with Saeran soon. I know he must be angry at me…” His voice grows wistful. “I never thought it’d turn out like this. I thought… anyway. I’m just happy I’m in the same building as he is, again.”

“Seven…”

Unhearing, he sighs, and you hear a clinking sound. “I’m so sorry you got involved. And you got hurt, too, didn’t you? I saw… I’m so sorry. If you can escape without me, please, don’t hesitate. Or maybe we can negotiate your freedom… but… you called me, right? Have you called the other members? Jumin should be at the hospital now, and -” he coughs again. “And if you can reach him - Jumin’s resources are already on the move. He can plan even better, if you can reach him, give him more info on where you are, how many people you’ve seen…”

Then there’s a long, drawn out pause, and you wonder for a moment if he’s fainted, or if someone else has come into the room, but then he continues once more.

“I… probably shouldn’t say this, but. I don’t want to lie to you, if this is the last time you’re ever able to hear from me. I don’t want there to be any lies left. So.” A deep, shuddering breath echoes down the line. “This - me being captured, this was part of my plan too. I was going to let them see me, and I was going to surprise them with - ah, it might take too long to go through everything. I didn’t want you to worry about me, so I didn’t tell you I meant them to see. I should have. I should have told you. But the plan didn’t quite work… it was meant to have found me by now… it must have gotten lost… I don’t understand, I gave it all the blueprints...”

“‘It’? Wait, what ‘it’?”

“But if you see a friendly white cat… a friendly white metal cat… tell him how to reach me, yeah? You can trust him. He’ll help you, too. I should have explained all this to you before… I should have learned from V’s mistakes...”

You mull over this information, wishing you could ask Seven for more details. A metal cat? You hadn’t seen anything like that in the car… had he planned to send you some more information after he had been captured, or had he just expected you to wait? So much you want to ask…

“Anyway, you should probably hang up… it’s hard for me to do.. right now… and it’d be bad if you heard them doing those things to me… oh… uh… you should just hang up. Don’t think about what I said too much. Except for calling Jumin! And trusting the cat!”

 _What… what are they planning on doing to Seven?_ Your thoughts run wild, and you don’t want to hang up the phone. Your only connection to him. If you could just find a way out… somehow… in your incredibly incapacitated state. You could probably work out how to get back to that holding cell.

You’re still thinking when he speaks again. “You didn’t hang up yet... I can just barely see it…your picture… on my screen...” His voice grows so soft you almost can’t make it out. “Did I worry you? I'm sorry… if what I heard was true... this really might be the last time we ever talk.” A few seconds pass. “If you really want to listen a little longer, then… then let me be selfish for just… a minute.” Another, longer pause. “I… I never would have known the truth, if it wasn’t for you, and. I… really... you’re… a good person. So… I don't deserve this from you, but… would it be okay to ask… if you would keep me in your heart… just a little? I always thought I'd be okay just turning my engine off, but now… after meeting you… I… if you could remember me, and… think of me sometimes, I… oh... though you shouldn’t... but I…” Somewhere, a door slams. “I...really liked you....“ You hear him start coughing again. “Ugh, I can hear someone coming, God, I’m delirious. I’m talking nonsense. Forget that stuff, okay? Just,” his voice grows urgent “ just be sure to escape if you can, all right? They're on the stairs, so I’m just gonna keep poking my foot at this phone until I hang up on you, okay? I can’t let you hear this, you-”

And the call ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people have asked me on Twitter if I'm turning this from Ray/MC to MC/7, and all I can say is... that tags don't lie;; There's certainly a bit of both here, but I mean, right now both 7 and Ray are not really operating as their 'whole' selves, and MC wants to protect them both. That desire to protect is stronger than any of their other feelings at this point. But all three of them are going to have to face their feelings in more depth soon enough.
> 
> So yes, this will be explored and resolved in various ways over time... just you wait until we get to the last chapter (probably 3-4 chapters remaining, I'd say). Things will come to a head, for sure. There will be tears. And an ending well-earned.


	9. Synthetic sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the delay with this chapter. My brain wound up going through some deppression? Anxiety? Some flavour of bad brain stuff, along with burnout. And I also got really run down and unwell... so this took a long time to write and I really struggled to finish it. I'm still feeling pretty wobbly, but I think I'm on the mend now, though, so hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently again.

If it wasn’t for the bound limbs and the bloody bandages, you’d look like someone curled up in bed talking to their high school sweetheart. 

However… anyone within earshot of Jumin’s voice would immediately know better. He still attempts to maintain the facade of the reserved, confident businessman you had become familiar with from the messenger. But you can sense, bleeding through every word he speaks. A single ghost of a feeling.

Betrayal. 

Lied to over and over by the only two people he really considered friends. Of course he’d be troubled. The fact that he’s still functioning as well as he is... you can’t help but admire his fortitude.

Perhaps taking action is a way for Jumin to begin reconciling his emotions. Or perhaps it’s a way to avoid thinking about them.

_ The same way speaking to him helps me not to think about... _

...either way, his quick decision-making and confident words are a comfort. 

V’s somewhat delirious state continues to work to your advantage. Jumin extracted the apartment’s address from him after only a few circular, broken conversations. Getting to the apartment before Rika would be critical, as V did not have the passcode required to enter it. 

As the call with Jumin progresses, you feel yourself more and more distanced from the words he speaks, the responses you give. Your brain and your mouth work together to provide Jumin with all the information he needs, but instead of the initial feeling of comfort from speaking with him, you begin to feel nothing but distance.

_ This is all just a story. _

_ I’m reading lines from a script... I’m… just an actor. _

None of this can really, really be real. Cults based in a mountain hideout with mind control potions aren’t real. Being singled out as special by a brainwashed super-hacker isn’t real. This whole situation. It can’t be real. Nothing about this makes any sense. No one would… torture someone over something like...

They wouldn’t hurt Seven. He was probably just trying to… maybe he wasn’t thinking straight. There’d be no reason. There’d no benefit to be had from doing things to him. They wouldn’t… hurt him...

You remember Ray’s expression when you mentioned his brother...

_ Did he touch you? _

“[MC]? Are you still there?”

“Oh!” You feel the weight and tension of your own body rushing back as Jumin’s voice cuts into your thoughts. “I’m sorry, I…”

“You must be tired. I recommend resting. Save your energy for your rescue. It will be soon.” 

“Yeah… thank you, Jumin.” 

“Don’t hesitate to call Jaehee if your situation changes,” he responds. “She will be sure to answer you no matter the time.”

As he ends the call, you still feel that strange sense of unreality at the edge of your thoughts.

Which means that when the scratching starts, and the small, sweet voice calls to you, at first you don’t even register it happening.

“Angel [MC]’s signal confirmed, meow~”  _ Scratch scratch scratch. _ “I’ve been told to escort the angel to safety, nyan~”  _ Scratch scratch scratch. _

Slowly, the part of your brain still paying attention to the outside world manages to connect back up with the part of your brain slowly spiralling in on itself. What… is that?

Maybe you really are beginning to lose touch with reality.

_ “If you see a friendly white cat… a friendly white metal cat… tell him how to reach me, yeah?” _

Still questioning your own sanity, you painfully move from the bed over to the locked door.

There’s a white, shiny paw poking out from the gap underneath it.

“Hello…?” Bending over sends your head spinning. Instead, you do your best to sit down next to the door, using the wall as support. 

“Contact, meow~! Lovely [MC], can you open the door for me~?”

“I’m sorry, it’s locked from your side, I don’t think I can-”

“Okay~ Try this on the lock, nya~” The cute voice cuts off, and you hear a whirring sound. The white paw returns, nudging a small metal key towards you. It looks different to a normal key, though - all the teeth are very small.

The sweet synthetic voice instructs you on inserting the key and giving it a firm bump with something flat, like the back of a shoe. You retrieve the one you kicked off earlier, and attempt to follow the instructions, wincing.  A cold prickling sensation tells you that one of the cuts on your hand has opened up again.

You’re actually surprised when the lock pops open. Scrambling at the handle and cursing at it for being round instead of a lever, you let the small, robotic cat inside as quickly as you can.

“Oh, you’ve been bound up! Let me help you, mew~” The cat extends one sharp, metallic claw, and it slices through the ropes binding you with just a few precise swipes. 

You watch with amazement. How had Seven kept such an amazing creation a secret from everyone? Did he build it to help him with his work for the agency? “Wait, can you help me tear off some of this bandage, too? I can’t use my fingers when they’re wrapped up so tightly..”

Carefully, you run the claw against the outer layer of the bandage, and free the fingers on one hand. It hurts to move them, but they’re not directly injured. You free up the other hand, then tuck the remaining loops of bandage as best you can into itself to keep the rest of your palm protected. You hope Ray sterilised the wounds before he dressed them, but now isn’t the time to check.

“Nya-ow, let me talk you through a few techniques to loosen up those limbs…” Seven’s cat begins to outline some exercises, but you ignore it and head to the dresser, slinging the messenger bag over your shoulder. 

Your eyes move to the bed.

To the bloodstained, crumpled blue rose by your pillow.

_ I won’t leave you behind.  _

Your clothing has blood on it anyway. What’s a little more? You tuck the flower into a small pocket on your shirt, losing a few petals on the way.

A cutesy voice calls from down by your feet. “It’s time to escort you to safety, Angel [MC]!” 

You look down into the blue glassy eyes. “I can’t leave yet. Seven and Ray are here, too…”

The eyes stare back at you, locked in their permanent sweet expression. “God Seven programmed me to prioritise your safety over everything else, mew~ I’m programmed to help him as well, but only once you are safe, nya~”

“But he’s in danger now! We have to rescue him first, kitty! He could...” Your voice drops to a whisper. “I think… he might die…”

“Don’t worry~ He’s told me to keep you company, even if he does die~!”

“H-how can you say that?!” You drop back onto the bed with frustration.  _ Do you think there’s a chance in hell I’d accept that, you idiot?! Don’t program your cat to patronise me! _

The cat responds, but you’re too angry to listen. You close your eyes and think. 

_ It’s worth trying… _

You look over at the robot cat, which has somehow extended its legs and torso so that it is tall enough to then awkwardly step up onto the bed beside you. “Do you have a name, kitty?”

“God Seven nya-med me Robo-Ellie! But I’ll respond to a different name if you would like, meow!”

“Okay… Ellie.” You find yourself patting it on the cold metal surface of its head, and it plays a musical purring noise in response. “It’s impossible for me to leave this place without Seven, okay? Your mission to help me will fail without him. So in order to follow your instructions, we need to go to him first.”

“Okay, mew!~” The cat extends its over-long legs, returning to the floor. “Exiting long-cat mode, shyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~” Ellie’s legs and body retract until it looks just as it did on entering the room earlier.

_ Well, that was easy.  _ While the cat has some amazing functions, at least Seven hasn’t programmed it to carry out complex arguments.

-oOo-

“Is anyone else down there, Ellie?” 

The mechanical cat looks at the door to the holding cells, and tilts its head. “I can’t tell, nya~ I have Seven-shi’s signal, but my microphones aren’t picking up any other noises!” 

The longer you stay out in this corridor, the more likely someone is going to come across you. Maybe, if you open the door slowly, and take just a little peek…

It’s just as dim as you remember. But there’s enough light to confirm there’s no-one outside the cells, at least. You step inside, and close the door softly behind you.

The room looks like the kind of place that should have creaking stairs, whistling wind and dripping water. But you are greeted only with silence.  As the only source of noise in the room, you find yourself taking shallower and shallower breaths.

Bright LEDs in Ellie’s eyes sweep the area, lighting up large cupboards, 

It clearly has been used for many other guests in the past. Possibly, this place is where Believers begin their own cycle of suffering and reward, until they’re completely pliant. 

But as Ellie walks from corner to corner, you have a cold realisation.

_ Seven isn’t here. _

His clothes are, though. Ellie stalks up to them and twitches its tail. “Signal confirmed, meow.”

Everything has been thrown on the ground messily, jeans strewn over shoes, a sock sticking out from underneath his hoodie.

You reach for the hoodie unthinking, and squeeze it to your chest. It’s cold. He’s been gone for a while. 

His phone is still here, too, near the wall and bindings that had once restrained V. You pick it up, and press your thumb against the fingerprint scanner. The phone unlocks, just as it had back in Seven’s car. He hadn’t removed your authorisation yet.

You wonder if there’s any special features he has applied to his phone that might help you, but this doesn’t seem to be the right place to try them out. You slip it into your messenger bag, and the loud  _ clack  _ of it striking the taser makes you jump.

But that isn’t the only sound you can hear now.

Someone is coming. Several someones.

Voices, from above, near the door. You only have seconds.

"Hide!" you hiss to Ellie, and you look around frantically for anywhere you could stay out of view. At least the dim lighting works in your favour.

A gap between two storage cupboards is your best bet. So long as they don’t walk to the back of the room, they shouldn’t see you. If they do, though, you’ll have nowhere to run.

But there’s no other choice.

You can only see a sliver of the room from your hiding place. But you hear the door open, and… at least two, maybe three sets of heavy footsteps on the stairs.

"Over there," you hear one voice instruct. The sound of shuffling feet gets closer to the cupboards you are wedged between. Your chest burns as you hold your breath.

A loud thump and more shuffling follows. The next words are spoken so close to where you hide that you flinch soundlessly.

“He wouldn’t have spoken like that if the Saviour was here.”

“Shhh!” A third, nervous voice responds. “What if he comes this way and hears you?”

All three speakers sound male, although you’re not entirely certain. The first one, that had been instructing the others, speaks up again. “So what? He yelled at us, but we were following the Saviour’s orders. If he’s disagreeing with her, I know whose side I’m on.”

The voice closest to you replies. “He might be one of her favourites, but if he keeps this up, there’s always...  _ that.” _

“E-28! You know we can’t go ahead with that without the Saviour’s explicit permission.”

E-28 snorts. “It’s for emergencies. If his behaviour causes an emergency... she’ll forgive us.” His voice grows softer. “Blessings to the Saviour.”

The other two repeat his words reverently.

The first voice speaks again. It sounds older than the first two. “It won’t look good if we stay down here long. E-8 is waiting.”

“Right.” 

You’re about to breathe a silent sigh of relief when the next words you hear send your heartrate into overdrive. “Wait. I think I heard something...”

“Are you sure? I didn’t hear anything.”

“I’m just going to take a quick look around before we leave. Remember, that guy snuck in here before, and we haven’t changed security yet.”

Footsteps draw closer to your hiding spot.  _ Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshi- _

“Myaaaaow!”

“Wait, what the heck is that?”

“Nyaaaaa~”

“It’s some kind of… cat? Quick, get it!”

“Nya-uh…!” You hear something clunk against wood, and a set of running footsteps immediately after.

You wait a few moments after the noises fade away, and start to wiggle your way out of your hiding place. No one has remained in the room, and in their hurry they haven’t shut the door, either.

_ Thank you, Ellie.  _ You rub at your arms, which had started to tingle from the awkward position you’d had to maintain between the storage cupboards.

It’s then that you look down, and see an unconscious Seven, stripped to his underwear. His arms are tied up behind his back, and in this light you can’t tell what sort of condition he’s in.

You rush over to his side. If it wasn’t for this bizarre situation…

...with the way things are, there’s no room for embarrassment.

His skin is cold to the touch, and you feel bile rising at the back of your throat in response to the thoughts that begin to creep in from the darkness.

You press a thumb against his wrist, and you feel something… but is it your pulse, or his pulse? You can’t tell. You’ve only ever read about this stuff in books.

_ The neck. The artery is bigger at the neck.  _

Your hands move up to his neck, and feel something sticky there.  _ God.  _ You can’t tell what it is.

You withdraw and wipe your hands against your clothes automatically.  _ Wait, why not just - _

You press your ear against his chest, right over where his heart should be. And then you hear it.

_ Thump, thump, thump. _

And that’s when you start to cry. 

You can't stay like this. You can't waste time like this. But you also can't stop. You draw in a deep breath and try to focus on something else, but all you can feel is relief that you weren't too late, that whatever happened... he was still...

"[MC]..."

You turn at the sound of the voice, to see a familiar silhouette in the doorway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to cliffhanger you, but I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter. Only a few more to go now! You should hopefully not have to wait this long next time.


	10. A door opened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, an answer to the cliffhanger.
> 
> Just a warning in advance, we jump back and forth in time in the first two sections, and the final section is from Seven's point of view. I feel like I've depicted this clearly enough but, hey, now you know what to expect.
> 
> Also, cw, in this chapter Ray is a little physically forceful with MC, although he doesn't hurt them. He does get very intense though. Again.

It isn’t easy carrying the broken robot cat. It’s heavier than you imagined, and the points of Ellie’s ears dig uncomfortably into your chest. You’ve already grazed your arms on the unfinished rough wall of the corridor a few times in your unsteady march towards the outside world.

Between you and the exit,  **he** walks, stiffly and in obvious pain. Every time you want to stop, you stare at his back and the words die in your throat. 

_ “Follow me, or don’t.” _

Not that he’d said those words to you, this time. All he’d said was “It’s time to leave.” But your heart filled in the rest.

Between now and... that last phone call. The one where he had said he liked you. The one where he’d asked you... to keep him in your heart… Since that time.

“It’s time to leave.”

That’s all he has said to you.

And so you stare at his back, and the arms and head that dangle limply over it, ending in those familiar half-gloves. And you keep walking.

-oOo-

Ray had stood at the top of the stairs to the dingy basement, staring wordlessly as you looked up, eyes filled with tears, from your position over Seven’s body.

You’d expected anger.

You hadn’t expected the strangled sound he made as he looked between the two of you, frozen in place.

“Did he…?”

You stare at him, uncomprehending, in just as much shock. He says something you can’t make out under his breath and descends the stairs, which is when you notice Ellie’s immobile body in his arms. 

He places the inert robot cat on the ground more delicately than you would have expected, then closes the distance between the two of you in a few long strides. 

“He hasn’t…”

Ray’s face is strained, his mouth fighting to stay in a neutral expression. But he sounds like he’s about to cry. His next words surprise you, their formation almost child-like.

“Is he gone?”

You take a shuddering breath in, and finally find your voice. “He’s alive.” You let the words wash over you.  _ He’s alive. He’s still alive. _

It’s then his eyes move to your hands, still resting on Seven’s naked torso. The skin is warming ever so slightly against your fingers. You snatch your hands away, but too late.

There are no tears in his voice now. “What are you doing? Are you trying to leave me again? With  _ him _ ?” 

You stand, but can’t decide whether to approach or back away. In your hesitation, Ray takes away your decision, stepping towards you, his eyes never leaving yours. In response, your feet also make a choice without you, and you find yourself backing away.  _ Those eyes don’t look like Ray’s right now... _

Another mistake, you realise, as a pained hiss escapes his lips.

“You can’t even stand to be near me, now?”

This time, he doesn’t give you a chance to react. Before you can even blink, his hands are on your shoulders, and he pushes forward.

The cold rough stone wall meets your back with a thud. Ray stands close in front of you, still holding your shoulders, the light from the stairway cloaking his silhouette with a bright halo.

“He won't give you what I can give you. He's not capable of feeling. But I…” His voice breaks. “I feel so much... about you... about everything... I wouldn't lie to you about that..."

He raises his right hand from your shoulder, and gently runs a finger over the curve of your upper lip. "Want to know how I felt when I... when I kissed you? You remember, right? It started like this..."

His hand moves up to press against your eyes, the texture of his glove pushing firmly against your face, a stand of your hair trapped behind it.

You feel hot air against your lips, but this time, there's no brush of skin against yours. He pauses.

"I felt like... a door opened. Just a little." He sighs, and the sound makes you want to swallow it whole, to take that breath between your lips and seal it in forever with your mouth.

Despite everything, you can't ignore the feeling you have when he's so close to you like this.

_ I'm crazy. Am I mixing his kindness up with Seven's? I can't... let my body make decisions for me right now. _

And yet, your lips part, just a little.

"Yes... a door opened. Just a crack... just the smallest sliver of fresh air from the outside."

And his lips brush against yours again. Just like before. But this time, aching and heavy, you raise a hand to touch his cheek. He takes his left hand from your shoulders, still covering your eyes with the other, and you feel a sudden wetness on your fingertips. A soft pressure.

He kisses them, but then drags his tongue entirely down the length of your bandaged hand, until you feel a damp pressure at your wrist.

He releases your hand, and leans in closer. "Even your blood tastes sweet to me."

A second passes, and you hear him inhale sharply for a moment. Then a finger presses against your lips once more. "I can't even taste mine any more."

And then the finger is forced between your parted lips and into your mouth, and there's a strong taste of salt and something else, something sour. You feel like you’ve been plunged into cold water, as your skin prickles with a cold sweat. You grasp his wrist with one hand, but you aren’t sure what you want to do with it.

The two of you stay still a moment, and Ray - or whoever is in control right now - presses his forehead against the back of the hand covering your eyes.

“I don’t know how to show you what I mean… I don’t know how…”

This is the moment, you know it. This is your chance to convince him to leave. You want to talk, but, there’s. Well. A bleeding finger in your mouth. 

“Hmmm?” is all you can manage, and he withdraws the finger with a sharp movement, as if he was surprised to find it there. His other hand falls from your eyes, as well.

You open your eyes, and squint at the sudden brightness of the light behind Ray’s silhouette. “Come with me.” 

As your eyes adjust, he grasps both your hands with his own, and you try to keep an even expression as the wounds on your hands throb and ache. He leans in close, and you can’t look anywhere but into those serious green eyes.

“[MC]. I want you. Everything there is. And I’ll do everything… anything. So that you’ll let me hold you… so that you’ll touch me again with those hands… I can’t imagine ever becoming whole if you leave again. I’ll do anything… but Mint Eye… and my Saviour...”

In your own way, you’ve been brainwashed before. Not with any serum - just with words, and promises, and cruelty. And what saved you - what brought you out of it, was just a single friend. No matter how much you felt you deserved what you got, that friend had treated you with respect, over and over, no matter what. And slowly, you’d learned you could be more.

It’s not exactly the same, but...

“I can see who you could become if you were your own person, Ray. You’re smart, and caring, and determined. Don’t stay locked away here. Leave with me… you have so much to live for… outside… in the daylight, under the sun…”

His face drops as you mention the sun. “Hah. The sun. I don’t need anything like that.” And then his body is pressing against yours, and he chokes out the words: “I don’t need light. All I need is you… and my Saviour. When I can’t see you, it feels like… everything loses its colour… I thought the Saviour’s kindness was enough, but… when I see you…”

He rests his forehead directly against yours now, and his hands drop down to your waist.

“When I see you…”

Then his mouth is on yours again, but there's nothing light about it now.

Inside, two powerful and opposing feelings crash together in your chest, but your thoughts are impossible to piece together as his tongue presses against yours, and you melt into the kiss and the warmth of his body. It feels like your mind is being carried away on some invisible stream, and at that moment, you want to let it go.

_ If I stayed here…  _ a thought quietly begins, but just as it enters your head, the body pressed against your goes limp and falls backwards. Unable to react in time, you expect to hear a thump, but he falls softly into the arms waiting behind him.

You look at the light reflected from Seven’s glasses and don’t know what to say.

He does.

“It’s time to leave.”

-oOo-

Ray’s arms and legs are bound with the rope that there was, really, far too much of in Mint Eye’s basement. No one should need that much rope unless they were planning on a sea voyage. Or maybe scaling a cliff face.

_ It’s no use.  _ You try to distract yourself with these thoughts, but each time, your eyes are drawn back to Seven’s silent figure. In the light of the corridor, you make out bruises across his back and arms. 

And blood.

But you can barely hear his breathing, let alone any complaints.

_ This is Seven at his most professional _ , you think, attempting to drown out your other thought:  _ this is Seven at his most betrayed. _

He’d seen you. You don’t know how much he’d seen, how long he’d been conscious. 

But he’d seen you, and his brother. And you hadn’t been resisting when he kissed you. In fact, when you think about it, you’d...

The only thing stopping your need to throw up is the fact that you’re afraid he won’t wait for you if you do.

_ He said all those things to me, and right next to his unconscious body, I… _

His feelings aren’t your responsibility, you try to remind yourself. He was the one who said those things to you. You’d never told him, you’d never said… 

**He** was the one who…

...was honest.

_ Why can’t I work out my own feelings? _

You look at Ray’s arms, as they hang over Seven’s back.  _ Ray... _

When you’d been here on your own, when you’d thought the RFA were part of a program… as unlikely as it sounded… 

More than anything else, you’d just wanted to hold him until the pain underneath his words went away. And then… 

...the kiss. Both times. You’d wanted more. 

But it wasn’t that simple. These two people… it wasn’t just that they looked alike, in some ways at least. It wasn’t just some physical attraction. There was something about both of them that captured your attention like no one else ever had. Something you wanted to protect. 

_ I wanted to make them both happy, and now… because I can’t make my mind up about who they are to me… what I really feel... _

_ I’m going to lose them both. _

You bite your lip. Maybe it’s for the best. This was never your story. It started long before you showed up, and should you disappear, would it really change that much?

Squeezing the inert robot cat closer to your chest, you attempt to pick up speed, realising Seven has gained distance on you while you fretted. This isn’t the time to think about the future. All you can do is focus on now - as uncomfortable as it is - and do your best from here. Though you can’t shake the feeling that soon, you’re going to have to make a choice. And you’ll only have one chance to make it. 

Seven is continuing to gain distance on you.  _ Why?  How is he…? _

It’s then you realise how weak your legs feel. Is it the extra weight from carrying Ellie, or tiredness, or…?

Still trying to analyse what is happening, you dizzily lean against a wall. You can’t be far from the exit, now, but without Seven and his mental map of all the places Mint Eye security is weak, you probably can’t make it out on your own.

You think about calling out to Seven, but you don’t want to draw any attention. And, besides.

Maybe…

...it’s for the…

“What are you doing?!” His whisper sounds like it desperately wants to be a scream.

How long have you been leaning against the wall? You thought it was hardly a minute, but now he’s so close…

A hand presses against your forehead.  _ It feels so cold... _

“No, no no no.” His voice sounds more frightened than you’ve ever heard him sound before. When he’d been considering his own death, his voice had been calm, if a little sad. But now - “You can’t get a fever. We have to get out of here. You have to hold on for me, okay?”

“You…” The word dribbles out of your mouth awkwardly.  _ What the heck.  _ Your tongue feels strange. “You… should go… I’ll slow you down… and I’m... “

_ Useless. _

_ Unnecessary. _

_ Unworthy. _

“You’re hurting. And you can’t think straight. I get it. That’s why we need to get out of here, ASAP!”

Focusing on his face is difficult. “I’m sorry.”

He peels one arm away from supporting his unconscious brother to tap the top of robot Ellie’s metal head. “You’re not going to be able to carry him like this. Put him down.”

“I can’t leave it! Him! He saved me!”

“I didn’t say we had to leave him. I’ll carry him.”

That was clearly impossible. There was no way he could take on Ellie as well as his brother. “But you’re already -”

“I can handle it.”

“No!” Your put all of your strength into the word, and the volume of it causes Seven to wince and glance back with concern. He turns back to you, expression unreadable.

“No…?”

You lower your voice. “I want to help you… I want...”

_ To make up for hurting you. _

_ To show you I care. _

_ To stop you from being hurt any more. _

“I want to look out for you, too.”

You don’t wait for an answer, but push yourself off the wall with one shaky thrust. Your head spins, but you force yourself to focus ahead. “I’m just worn out. I can still help.” You take a few steps forward, and so long as you think very hard about placing each foot, it’s not so bad. Much better now that each step feels like a small piece of proof that you are still useful, after all.

He sighs, and calls your name softly. “Not that way. There are cameras down that path.”

And so the two of you continue on.

-oOo- 

_ Five, six, seven… _

He counts carefully, each door lining up with a the photograph in his mind of the Mint Eye base’s layout.

It wasn’t ideal to be using the same escape route as before, but he hadn’t had enough time to come up with a better idea. Mint Eye hadn’t had a chance to modify their security, either. It’s not as if they had been expecting to deal with another bunch of escapees. From what Seven could piece together, they had been in the middle of packing up critical items in order to flee, as part of some larger plan of Rika’s. Strengthening security wasn’t exactly a priority when you were planning to go on the run. 

Which is why his death at the hands of the acolytes had become so much more likely than he’d anticipated. His appearance was an inconvenience. And the acolytes weren’t happy about the injuries he’d given them. If Saeran hadn’t stopped them…

His brother’s breathing reassures him, soft and regular against his ear. The serum he had taken from one of the many small compartments on Robo-Ellie’s stomach should keep Saeran knocked out for at least another ten minutes, and relatively docile for maybe thirty on top of that, depending on how it interacted with the Mint Eye elixir in his system. He’d calculated the dose using his own body, but his brother’s exposure to that unknown drug had made using it far riskier. Seven had hoped he wouldn’t have to use the serum, but they’d been running out of time, and he…

Sweat trickles down his forehead, behind his glasses, and stings at his eyes. He can’t free a hand to wipe it away, and blinks furiously instead. 

Each time he closes his eyes, he sees it. 

You... and...

He tries to replay his last phone conversation to you in his head. He’d just asked you to think of him. He hadn’t… said anything idiotic.

Not that it matters if he looks like an idiot.

The agency has trained him well. The pains in his body are there, but separate, walled off. It’s not that he doesn’t feel them, just that he is able to keep his thoughts distinct against the physical sensations. Remaining logical. Calm.

He sees his brother’s hands reach out to you, pulling you into his body.

No pain at all.

He’d asked you before, back when you shared your breakfast together, that one quiet morning.  _ “What does it mean when someone appears in your dreams?”  _

And you’d avoided the question with embarrassment. He’d laughed. 

And inside, a small, selfish part of him had felt something bright and pure and totally inappropriate…

...which he’d hastened to deny as soon as Vanderwood had caught even a glimmer of it in his eye.

Which was as it should be. His later lapse on the phone was just the thought of death making him morbid, and maybe a little nostalgic for a time when his life would have meant something to him.

Any feelings he might think he’s experiencing are just glitches. You’ve barely even known each other a week. 

It’s just been a tough day.

_ \- hands on their waist,  _

_ his head bends down  _

_ and you  _ hear it

_ as they - _

The only thing that matters is that his brother is safe, and no one else is hurt by Mint Eye.

Dealing with any injuries… or pain of any kind… can come later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seven absolutely says the "ASAP" in English, because even in this situation, he's still Seven, haha.
> 
> So, uh. Sorry 'bout all the pain. But bear with me. We're nearly there. Ray is nearly rescued, and then we can deal with the uh... Implications. Of everything.
> 
> You gotta earn your happy ending.
> 
> I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to comments for a while, but they do motivate me a lot and I'm determined to finish this soon, hopefully before the end of the year!


	11. Split in two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: HECK YEAH REAL RAY ROUTE COMING THIS MONTH! When I started writing this fic, it really did feel like Saeran was just going to be left to his horrible fate in V's route... and I needed to fix that so badly. So I'm really excited to play through a route where, hopefully, we can save him from Mint Eye ourselves for real.
> 
> Still, I'm glad in some ways that it took Cheritz this long to announce - if I'd known one was coming from the start, I might never have written this. And it's been a great journey from when I began writing, initially just to deal with the feelings V route gave me, to now, where I feel impending victory on the horizon, heh.
> 
> So! This is the penultimate chapter! Just a heads up, throughout the duration of this chapter MC shifts from thinking of Saeran as "Ray" to using the name "Saeran". I'm trying to show how MC is starting to create an internal understanding of who this person is, starting to piece together and recognise the various parts of his personality, so you'll see the name "Ray" appear less as the chapter progresses. MC still isn't really across calling Seven "Saeyoung" though - especially given Seven is still wrestling with how to handle things and who he is right now, too.

_ Why did no one come after us? _

As you watch the shadows of trees pass over Seven’s face in the afternoon light, you can’t help but wonder at how easily the three of you - four, counting Ellie - made it away from Mint Eye completely unassailed. Unlike last time, no one had been patrolling the gardens. No one had been waiting near the exit Seven had used last time, when you’d rescued V.

Vanderwood’s car isn’t handling the return trip nearly as well as it did on the journey there, and the windows rattle in response to every bump. You keep glancing back at Ray’s still-unconscious body, worrying that he might slump forward and hit his head. Bound up the way he was, he’d be unable to stop himself from falling even if he woke up.

But the seatbelt, and Ray’s eyelids, stay in place. 

Perhaps it doesn’t matter why no one tried to stop you, or take back Ray.

There’s a more pressing question on your mind right now. 

Seven’s expression makes you hesitant to ask it.

But you need to know what’s going on.

“Seven…” you start, testing out how the word sounds in your throat.  _ Yup. _ Just as awkward as you expected.

He keeps his eyes on the road. “How’s your fever?”

You press the back of your own hand against your forehead reflexively, even though you’re pretty certain it doesn’t work when you’re the person doing it. “Uh. I feel a lot better now that I’ve been sitting for a while.”

He mutters something to himself. “Hmm. Maybe not a virus. Shock? Pupils were enlarged. Although it was dark. Shock more likely to make the skin cold, though, so-” He taps each finger on the steering wheel, counting. “Dizzyness, fatigue, enlarged pupils, high temperature, rapid breathi-” Something about his monologue makes you laugh, just a little. It might not be the playful Seven you knew before, but there’s a reassuring warmth that washes over you, listening to  him reel off the list of symptoms to himself. 

He jumps at the sound of your soft chuckle, and glances over. You barely catch the corner of his mouth twitch upwards, before he switches his gaze back to the road and wipes the hint of expression from his face.

That tiny movement is all you need to feel the tension in the air around you lessen.

Sadly, the question you ask next seems to bring it straight back.

“Where are we going? This isn’t the same route as before.” 

Seven pushes against the steering wheel with his hands, pressing his back into the driver’s seat. You’d think that would hurt, given the bruises you saw earlier, but he keeps a straight face. “Hmm. Well. Maybe not.” 

“You… you’re not lost, are you?”

You’d hoped to elicit another hint of a smile from him, or even a frown and a hurt denial, but it seems like that one slip-up from his ‘professional’ face is all you’re going to get. He answers levelly.“Not lost.”

In the backseat, his brother mutters something. You turn back to stare at him with a mixture of hope and concern, but he still seems to be out of it.

“He’s awake?” Seven asks, his voice higher than before.

“No,” you say, turning back in your seat, rubbing at the twinge in your shoulder from turning around too fast. “I don’t think so, anyway.”

“He should have recovered already.” Seven’s voice takes on a note of quiet anger. “Whatever drugs they’ve been forcing on him, his metabolism is messed up.” He takes a deep breath, but then swallows back whatever it was he wanted to say next, and falls silent again.

You glance down at the phone in your hands. An unflattering reflection of your face looks back. You’d sent off a quick text to Jaehee to let her know the three of you had escaped, but after that, Seven had told you to turn off the phone entirely. 

It made sense, but, you hoped that -

_ and then, the sound rattled the windows _

_ and then, the sound shook the trees _

_ and then, the sound filled your ribcage _

_ and then, the sound _

You want to shout “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT” but all that comes out of your mouth is a squeak.

Seven pulls over to the side of the unsealed road, and guides the car behind some tangled bushes. He switches off the engine, and leaves the car, gazing up at a cloud of dust and debris just discernible over the tops of the trees.

You join him, feeling a fresh wave of dizziness wash over you as you stand. Maybe you aren’t recovering as well as you thought. “Wh-what was that?”

“Explosives…” Seven mutters, pensively. “What is with Rika and…”

“That was Mint Eye?” 

“I think so.” 

You sway slightly, and partially sit on the edge of the car’s bonnet for support. “I… I hope none of Jumin’s people had made it there yet… I hope they weren’t… I hope Jumin’s…”

Seven glances back at you, and knits his brow. “We’d better get going.” 

You fish your phone out of your bag. “Maybe I should call and-”

“Don’t turn it on!” His hand grabs your wrist so quickly you let go of the phone in surprise, and it drops to the ground with an unpleasant  _ KR-THUNK _ . 

Seven’s grip is so tight you can feel your own pulse, pushing against his fingertips. The nerves in his voice are obvious. “Jumin could-” And again, he swallows whatever words he was about to say. Something about the way he holds them back makes you feel more alone than when you’d been stuck by yourself in your room at Mint Eye, all those days ago.

Seven releases your wrist, and looks  at the ground. “Oh. Your phone…” He picks it up, and wipes the dust off. The screen now has a large crack running diagonally from one corner to the other. Seven runs his finger down the divide and winces. “It’s sharp. I’m sorry.” He places the phone back into your hands, screen up. “I’ll give you one of my spare phones later, okay? Sorry…” He stares over your head, towards the back seat of the car. “I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way.”

-oOo-

It’s not long after that when Seven pulls off the road again. You don’t see it until he’s stopped, but by the road (if you can even call it that at this point) there’s a weathered looking signpost advertising a ranger station. Seven notices you staring. “It’s not staffed, if you’re wondering. They don’t maintain the trails nearby any more. Too dangerous in this spot.”

“Dangerous?”

He replies absently, “Well, not for us,” and starts hauling items out of the car. “Stay there a minute, okay? Once I’ve set a few things up, I’ll need your help with Saeran.”

You nod, and Seven disappears from sight more quickly than you’re comfortable with. Now it’s just you, the forest, and an unconscious Ray.

“[MC]...”

Maybe not so unconscious after all.

“Ray?” You lean in through the open window closest to him. “How are you feeling?”

His head turns a little towards your voice, but he doesn’t seem to focus on your face. “He’ll hurt… us both… again…”

You cover one of his hands with your own. Where your fingers meet skin, they feel cold, and clammy. “It’s going to be okay now. Seven is going to-”

“Is it?” he interrupts, slurring the words slightly. “If only… it could be like that. But...” 

He falls silent as the sound of footsteps on gravel grows close. Seven appears by your side. “He’s awake?”

“Sort of?”

Some of the tension leaves his voice. “Good. I’ve made a spot for him to rest in. Help me walk him over there.”

The two of you remove the loose restraints from Ray and help him up out of the car. Ray remains quiet, but doesn’t resist as you and Seven help him walk to the old ranger station. Compared to Seven’s safe house, the place is tiny - just a single room, with a few bare furnishings, including a large bookcase filled with files containing, going by the labels, maps of the area, emergency instructions and other pieces of information useful for people visiting this part of the forest. You wrinkle your nose involuntarily. Everything smells faintly of mould. Instead of glass windows, the station’s walls have large square holes. Long ago, these would have been block-able by by a pull-down canvas - all of which now lies rotting on the ground.

Seven glares at some graffiti on a far wall, underneath which lie several empty bottles. “That’s newer than I’d like… maybe we should keep going after all.”

“Where  _ are _ we going?” you ask a second time, helping Ray down to the floor on a blanket Seven has rolled out. 

Seven turns to look at you both, kneeling by Ray’s side. “I…” He sighs. “I have to sever all ties to this place. My work. The RFA. Everything. I need to take Saeran somewhere he can’t be hurt… I’m sorry you got dragged into this, but I-”

Ray mutters. “More lies.”

Seven leans over Ray, troubled golden eyes studying his brother’s expression. “Saeran...I don’t know what they told you, but I… I thought you were safe. That’s the only reason that I-” his voice breaks “that I left you. I thought it was the only way to-”

As you watch Saeran, he seems smaller than before. His voice, though, is growing stronger. “The only way? The only  _ way?  _ Abandoning me was the best outcome for you. Whatever you’re doing now, whatever you’re trying to do to them, it-”

Seven chokes out a single sentence, “‘I was wrong!” and closes the remaining distance to grip Saeran tightly, burying his head in his chest. “I made the wrong choice. I never should have left you. I missed you so much, I-”

Saeran looks as if he’s about to push Seven away, when the sound of a loud, growling engine begins to fill the air. All three of you freeze without saying another word. You find yourself holding your breath as the sound grows louder and louder, and then - stops.

Seven stands immediately and moves to a position by the door. Saeran, to your surprise, copies, him, although a little more shakily. He seems to have recovered from most of the effects of the tranquiliser, though he’s clearly not close to 100%.

It’s a strange feeling, seeing the two of them stand either side of the doorway. The closest they’ve come to working together this entire time.

You carefully slide your hand into your bag, and your stiff fingers hit the boxy shape of Vanderwood’s taser. Gripping it lightly, but keeping it in the bag, you stand away from the open window-spaces, and wait.

A familiar voice calls out, still some way away. “Did you think I wouldn’t install a tracker in my own car? Don’t try anything stupid, Zero Seven. We don’t have a lot of time.”

Seven doesn’t show even the smallest hint of relief at the sound of his partner’s voice, and remains at the side of the door. “Why are you here?”

“Because you’re about to do something stupid, and...” Vanderwood pauses, and you hear a  _ click  _ of a lighter. “...me, too.”

_ Now  _ Seven’s body language shifts, as he drops one hand to his sides and rubs his forehead with the other. “What?”

“Are you going to come out here, or should I come in there? Although…” Vanderwood’s distaste is evident “...I’m not sure I want a lungful of spores.”

You can’t help but snort at that. “But smoke is fine?” Not that your lifestyle has been particularly healthy either.

Vanderwood ignores the comment. “You’re here, too, then. I’m surprised you haven’t ditched this idiot yet. Is that other hacker with you?”

Saeran hisses at Seven. “Who is this person?”

Vanderwood continues. “You know, that Jumin Han seems like the only sane one in your little group. Him and that glasses woman. I’ve gotten more value out of working with that guy over the last few hours than I have the last  _ year  _ of dragging you out to missions. Good negotiator, too.  _ And  _ a good handle on the real value of things.”

“If you like him so much, what are you doing here?” The gap between Seven’s warm self you first got to know, and the faces he’s pulled since… including this one… continues to be a vast gulf you struggle to cross. How much of the kindness he’d shown you in the past was even real? You wish you knew.

“Funny you should bring that up. Are you going to come out here, or what? I’m tired of talking to a door, and I  _ do not  _ want to set foot in that decrepit thing.”

Seven seems undecided. Saeran still seems ready for a fight. 

You sigh, and move to one of the window holes, hoisting a leg over the edge and dropping to the other side. A good bit of rotting wood rubs off onto your clothes, but somehow you manage to avoid splinters. You look up to se Vanderwood, immaculate as ever. “Hi.”

“Finally sick of their shit, huh?” One side of his mouth creeps upwards, and the agent studies you a moment. “I can only imagine what two of him must be like.”

You hear something like a snarl from the cabin. “I’m nothing like…!”

Vanderwood cuts the complaint off. “I have a deal for you. For me, too. But I don’t get what I want unless you cooperate, so, listen, because you’re not going to get an offer like this again.” He exhales slowly. “And it’s a lot better than what you’ll get from the Agency once they realise what you’re up to.”

Seven’s voice from the other side of the doorway is confident, but cold. “I have plenty of ways to handle the Agency.”

“None of them are going to be as good as this.” Vanderwood eyes the glowing end of his cigarette thoughtfully. “And none of them are going to ensure that kid hacker you’ve gone to all this trouble for doesn’t get caught up with the law like this will.”

There’s still no movement from the other side of the door.

“God, you’re a pain in the ass.” Vanderwood sighs. “Look. Before we flew back to the cult base for you three, we intercepted that crazy blonde woman-”

The door flies open, as Saeran shouts, “What have they done to the Saviour? If-” But as he moves towards Vanderwood, the sudden pressure of his foot on the old wood steps causes one of them to buckle, and Saeran’s knee twists awkwardly inwards underneath him. He cries out in pain, but before he can hit the floor, Seven is there, gripping his brother by his jacket to stop him from falling. Saeran wriggles and twists, until he manages to shake off Seven’s grip, and turns, awkwardly, to glare back at him.

Vanderwood watches with interest, but makes no move to interrupt the two of them. 

You expected more accusations to fly from Saeran to his twin, but he just spits out five words: “Don’t ever touch me again.” And then, ignoring the two of them, he moves over to you, grabs your wrist and begins to stride off back towards the cars. You only catch the briefest glimpse of Seven’s face before Saeran tugs you away, but it looks worse than it ever had during your escape from Mint Eye.

“You think I’d leave the keys in the car?” Vanderwood calls over to you both. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Neither am I.” Saeran responds under his breath, so only you can hear it.

You see the meaning of his words as you reach the vehicles and hear the jingle of keys in Saeran’s hands. He must have pocketed them at some point when you were all in the ranger station. Behind you, you can hear the sound of a pursuer gaining speed. Still, Saeran pauses to open the passenger door of Vanderwood’s car for you before, quickly moving to the driver’s seat. 

He starts the engine, and turns to look at you, his green eyes more tired than you’ve ever seen them. Can he even drive after only just shaking off the worst of the tranquiliser? You have your doubts.

But. It’s impossible for you to let him leave on his own. Wordlessly, you slip into the seat beside him and close the door.

It’s just then that Seven catches up with the two of you, rushing out several metres in front of the car and spreading his arms wide.

“Saeran!!!” he shouts, glasses askew. “Please!”

Saeran places both hands on the wheel. “Get out of my way.”

Seven shakes his head, and plants his feet firmly. “Just. Listen to me. I always loved you, I alw-”

“Stop doing this to me!” Saeran cries out, and his foot hits the accelerator.

Seven’s form draws suddenly nearer, his shadow growing long in the car’s headlights.

The taser is in your hands. And you use it.

Saeran jerks away from you, his foot slipping off the accelerator. The car’s sudden burst of speed is soon negated by the friction of the rough road beneath, but not before.

The windscreen.

Cracks.

With the weight of his body.

How hard do you have to hit a man with a car to kill him? You don’t know anything about that, but you do know that Seven isn’t moving. 

Saeran is, however. Even after Vanderwood explaining to you how tasers worked - that they only incapacitate someone for the duration they are on, that many people are able to immediately continue acting as soon as the attack ends - you’re shocked by how quickly Saeran exits the still-running car.

The sound he makes is without words, but the meaning is clear as he empties his lungs in the cold air and then runs into the forest in the opposite direction from the ranger’s station.

Shaking, you unbuckle your seatbelt, and -

> **[Chase after Saeran](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12098715/chapters/31042248)** (this choice will determine your ending)
> 
> **Go to Seven** (this choice will determine your ending, and will be hyperlinked once I publish it! Hopefully before mid-Feb 2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I couldn't help myself, so this fic has two possible endings. My goal is to post them simultaneously - I'll try to write them as soon as I can so you aren't left hanging! Maybe they'll even come out before the real Ray route? 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me through this story ^_^


	12. My heart came home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post both endings simultaneously, but I also wanted to get this one out before Ray's Route releases, and the second ending still needs more time, so - here's the first ending to this story! 
> 
> I wanted to make it clear that Saeran's path to recovery, even at this stage when he hasn't been on the elixir nearly as long as he was in the Secret Ends, still will be rocky. But well all know he can do it. And you'll be with him, helping him every step of the way.

You don’t even know which name to call as Saeran vanishes behind the trees. He’s limping a little from his earlier fall, but moving worryingly fast.

Disappearing.

There isn’t time to think.

Seven wouldn’t want you to let him go.   
_ You _ don’t want to let him go.

Pushing yourself out of your seat, you’re hit by a fresh wave of nausea, even worse than what hit you back at Mint Eye. It seems like every time you’re physically active, your body rebels shortly after. Biting your lip and trying not to think about the churning of your stomach, you pull yourself up, out of the car and move to where Saeran left the road.

Behind you, you hear Vanderwood inhale sharply as he reaches the scene. You shout back to him,  _ You gotta help Seven! Please!  _

He’ll know what to do. Seven is in good hands. Cranky, but good hands. 

The sounds ahead of you are confusing in your compromised state. Leaves rustle, twigs snap, but are you even going in the right direction? A branch whips you in the face, and you stumble on the unreliable ground beneath your feet.

He’s only had a small head start. How can he vanish this fast? 

_ And will he even want to talk to me after I used a taser on him? _ Mulling on that now is only going to make the world spin more, so you focus as hard as you can on the trees in front of you.

Lacking Vanderwood’s tracking skills, there’s really only one option left.

“RAY!” Your shout is weaker than you’d hoped, and you don’t receive a response. 

But you don’t give up. “SAERAN! WHERE ARE YOU?”

Then you hear a strangled, definitely human sound. Almost like a sob.

You head towards it.

He’s on the ground, back pressed up against a tree. Drained of all colour, his face is turned to look at something slightly to your right... 

You follow his gaze.

Across from Saeran lies a coiled snake. Its head is positioned in the centre of its body and slightly raised, staring fixedly in Saeran’s direction.

Very slowly, very quietly, you back away from the snake’s location and move closer to Saeran. The way your head is spinning, this takes a lot longer to do than you’d like, but the snake remains motionless.

You try to recall everything you know about snakes. Not, on reflection, a lot.

You try to keep your voice steady and low. “Can you move?”

Saeran’s voice is strained. “Yes…”

You look back at the snake. Motionless, other than a flicker of its tongue. Watching you both, silently. 

_ When I try to look at it calmly… _

Maybe it’s just your dizzyness, but the way it has its body all coiled up like that, it’s almost like the snake is more afraid of you than you are of it. Like it’s protecting itself.

“We don’t have to hurt each other.... right?” you say softly.

A flicker of a long, forked tongue is all you get in response.

Turning to study Saeran’s face, it seems like he’s hardly even registersting the snake. Like he’s seeing something else entirely.

“Ray…” You try to keep your voice as steady as possible. “I’m going to take you a little further back, okay?”

He doesn’t respond, but when you gently reach out and wrap one arm around his waist, he leans into you. You slowly stand, and help him up.

The snake doesn’t move, but somehow, the air feels more tense.

“Now we’re just going to move a little way back…” It doesn’t seem like Saeran’s knee was too badly injured from his earlier near-fall. He lets you carefully guide him away from the clearing.

You try not to think about how ridiculous it is to have a nauseous, dizzy person direct someone in shock through a snake-filled forest. But what choice do you have?

Further away, you turn back to look at the clearing with the snake.

For a moment, it feels like your eyes connect. Then it moves, at last - disappearing into the bushes in the opposite direction.

There don’t seem to be any other threats around you, so you let go of Searan, and sit down on the ground, head in your hands. Just a minute. Just one minute, to stop your head spinning. That’s all you ask.

Saeran drops down beside you, still staring into the distance.

“I thought I might die… and I thought… if I’ve killed him… maybe the snake was the answer… maybe I…”

You raise your head to look at him. “Saeran…”

He closes his eyes, sending twin trails of tears down his cheeks. “Ray… can’t I be Ray, any more? Not even to you? Did I kill him, too?”

You reach out to pull him into a hug, but as you start to move he beats you to it, wrapping you into a tight embrace. Warm water trickles down the side of your neck.

And he sobs.

You join him.

-oOo-

It feels like the two of you have been wrapped around each other, drenched in tears, for a lifetime. But slowly, you feel your breaths slow down, and Saeran’s join you, until both your chests rise and fall in unison.

“I thought it’d feel different…” he says, quietly. Every word sounds like it hurts him. “If I killed him. I thought… I couldn’t let him go on without me any more… but I couldn’t let anyone else do it. It had to be me. And then, I thought, after that…” His voice trails off. You stroke his hair, gently, and he squeezes you harder. It’s uncomfortable, but the closeness of his body, the smell of him so near to you again, his warmth.

You wouldn’t give it up for anything.

“But… when I saw him… when I hit him… he... it didn’t feel how I thought it would.” He draws in a shuddering breath. “I… don’t…”

He releases his grip on you slightly, and pulls away to look at your face. “I don’t want him… to… oh. Your eyes are so red. I’m sorry… I want to kiss away your tears, but... I don't deserve... to do something like that... to someone like you. All this time... it's just been another lie, hasn't it? I captured you with a lie... and I made you live a lie...”

You feel tears beginning to well in your eyes again. Wordlessly, you take his hands from around your shoulders and place them on your lap, palms upwards.

He watches you, his eyes tracing your movements like a child watching a magic show. Desperate for a miracle.

You pull out something from your bag, and gently place it into his hands, cupping one over the other. Then you lean back, and raise your eyes to his, staring into the depths of his mint green gaze, saying only: “This is real.”

Puzzled, he looks down, and opens his hands.

There, wilted and battered, lies a single blue rose, covered in your dried blood. The one he'd been wearing when he'd carried you back to your room at Mint Eye...

You'd woken up in his arms after that, and you knew.

No matter how hard things became. You'd found your soulmate. The person you would walk through fire for.

You don’t regret a single drop of blood. You’d bleed even more, if it would keep that flower alive.

He stares at the rose, then pulls one hand away to wipe at his eyes. "I don't..." Saeran looks up at you. "Didn’t I tell you what a blue rose means?" Shaking, he cups the side of your face with one hand, tracing your lips with his thumb. "Impossible... unattainable... an unrealisable dream..."

You shift his hand and kiss the tip of one finger lightly. "Saeran... I think for you, it makes you one of a kind. Beautiful, unique... and... and if..." You look down at your other hand, the bandage still stained with blood. "If I have to hurt a thousand times over... grab a thousand knives... face down a thousand snakes... I'll do it... to see you. To give you a kinder world."

You close your eyes to try and stop yourself from crying again, when you feel the brush of his lips against your face. He traces the path of your dried tears with small, but increasingly fierce kisses.

"[MC]..." he breathes in your ear, pressing his body against yours once more. "I want to believe those words so badly.”

The trees above you are silent, and still. As you both breathe out, the world holds its breath.

-oOo-

When the two of you return to the car, Vanderwood has done all he can for Seven. Fortunately, the rendezvous he’d planned earlier with Jumin wasn’t far, and from there, Seven could be airlifted quickly to a private room at a discreet hospital.

Saeran watches his unconscious brother, always keeping his distance, but something in his eyes as he stares at Seven on the trip back gives you hope. 

-oOo-

Seven had broken several of his ribs, and suffered some minor internal bleeding, but his recovery progressed without any issues, despite how often he tried to sneak out of his bed to visit Saeran. Which wasn’t easy, given he could hardly breathe without wincing, his ribs and cartilage still on the mend.The doctors were confident that so long as he stopped trying to leave on his own _ ,  _ he would be fine to leave within a couple weeks.

You’d thought that Saeran would have visited Seven, now that he had realised he didn’t want his brother to die after all - not even by his hand. But it wasn’t just a willingness to forgive that was needed.

The withdrawal symptoms from the Mint Eye elixir were severe. Saeran was completely bedridden, and the hospital forbid anyone who wasn’t a family member from visiting him. From what little information you could get out of Jaehee and Seven, the doctors were only barely managing to keep him stable, and if he’d been on the drug for a much longer, a full mental recovery would have become slim indeed. 

While you were allowed to visit Seven, seeing him required a lot of advance warning. Jumin was clearly attempting to keep the twins’ presence in the hospital a secret, even from many of the hospital staff - their names weren’t recorded in the room lists for potential visitors. Still, you did your best to come in as often as possible over the weeks after the events at Mint Eye. On one visit, you’d bumped into Vanderwood, who surprised you by actually looking somewhat sheepish about being caught visiting his ex-partner.

Vanderwood was now working as an expert advisor in Jumin’s intelligence unit, which had remained functional after the destruction of Mint Eye. It was clear Jumin wanted Vanderwood to take over the unit in Jaehee’s place, although Jaehee seemed reluctant to let go. When she talked about her work with the intelligence unit, you could see the fire in her eyes. Here was a challenge worthy of her sword.

At some point, she was going to need to have a serious talk with Jumin about her future path at C&R - but until that time, she and Vanderwood had been working hard on “clean-up”.

Vanderwood was tight-lipped on exactly what was happening, what Jumin was doing to free Seven and Vanderwood from their previous lives, and you didn’t push too hard. After all, the more you knew about it, the more you might put them at risk. Or so Vanderwood said.

The next piece of information he provided you was of more interest, anyway.

“I’ve noticed the patterns in this hospital already,” he comments, looking over your head at a cheerful poster promoting the benefits of eating fruit and vegetables. “It’s hardly secure. The corridor outside that brainwashed kid’s room, in particular… almost no one walks it down it from 9am to 11am. Ridiculous. Room 404, containing a dangerous hacker… well. None of my business, is it?”

He drops his gaze to your face, maintaining an even expression despite the look of surprise and gratitude now washing over yours.

"What?" he asks, dryly.

It's already 10:20am. You don't have much time.

As you shout a quick "Thanks!" and dash over to the elevator to head over to the fourth floor of the hospital, you hear a sound you've never heard before.

Vanderwood is chuckling.

-oOo-

Vanderwood's information holds up. Other than a dicey moment avoiding a nurse stationed at an information desk, it's surprisingly easy to make it to the door of Saeran's private room.

You turn the handle, gently, and step inside.

He's awake. A long drip line stretches from a large bag of clear liquid to his wrist. The only sound in the room is a gentle, rhythmic beep from a nearby machine with way too many dials on it. The head of Saeran’s hospital bed is raised, his back resting against a stack of pillows. His arms rest limply at his sides, palms up, as if someone else had laid them there next to him, like his outfit for the day.

Saeran's head is turned towards the bright light of the window by his bed. He doesn't stir at the sound of your approaching footsteps.

You're not sure if he's asleep, but you don't have much time.

"Hey..." you breathe out, reaching the side of his bed. "It's me."

His head doesn't move. "Stop it..."

Your heart plummets. "Saeran...?"

Still speaking to the window, he continues. "I don't want to dream this any more." His words are slurred. "Why doesn't it stop, already?"

"It's me, [MC] - you're awake. I'm here."

"You always say that... stop it."

You move to the foot of the bed to try and get a better look at his face. Saeran's eyes are open, unfocused. As you stare, it's only now you realise they seem to be nearly the exact same shade at the elixr he once tried to get you to drink. Is that why...? Does that even make sense...?

"I'll never be free." His voice is clearer, now. "It'll never stop hurting."

"You'll be able to leave here soon, Saeran. And... I..." You place your hands over one of Saeran's upturned palms -

"No!" He yanks the hand away from you. The drip needle stays in his arm, but the stand holding up the solution being fed into his veins rattles into the side of the bed, crashing loudly against the metal rails. "There's nothing...!"

You flinch backwards, and glance fearfully at the door. Someone must have heard that.

"Ray...!"

Finally, Saeran turns his head in your direction, but his eyes still gaze past your face to something only he can see. "He's dead," he spits out, eyes beginning to fill with tears. "Everyone is dead! My punishment for trying to -" his eyes finally seem to focus on your face. "- you...? You're-" His eyes flick to the table beside his bed, and you follow them to see only two objects: a glass of water, and a shrivelled, yellow-brown pile of petals...

The door behind you opens, as two hospital staff clad in blue scrubs enter the room. "Mr Choi, what -"

Then they see you. There's nowhere to hide.

"What are you doing?"

There's nothing you can say to stop them from escorting you out. One takes you by the arm while the other goes to check on Saeran, whose voice is growing louder by the minute.

"Wait! They're my..." he trails off, and you turn back to look at him as the orderly opens the door to the room to push you outside. His eyes have filled with tears and as he calls out to you his voice breaks.

"Don't! Don't leave me!"

The door closes.

-oOo-

Later, Vanderwood apologises to you. "I thought seeing you would help him. Seven Zero Seven... he won't shut up about that kid. But-"

"It's okay," you say, softly, staring at your hands. "I get it."

-oOo-

"You think that’s bad… he really lost it when one of the orderlies threw the petals out."

Seven's - Saeyoung's - voice is mostly just tired, but there's a small note of amusement in there all the same. You clutch the phone to your ear, and wait for him to continue.

"It was actually the thing that allowed me to finally take him home, though. Once they let me out, there was no way I was letting them keep him there, so I..."

You try to focus on Saeyoung's words, but most of your energy is being spent on forcing yourself not to interrupt him with a barrage of questions about Saeran all at once. It's been nearly a month since you saw him, half-drugged, on that hospital bed. You never got another chance to sneak in to see him, and other than learning that Saeyoung had managed to take him home, information had been scarce. You, Yoosung and Zen had spent many chats wondering about what was going on. The messenger was your only source of comfort. Jaehee, having successfully convinced Jumin she was better utilised in the intelligence team, had been buried in her work (but while her appearances in the chatroom were rare, she seemed much happier with her workload than before). Jumin still logged on regularly, but remained tight-lipped about anything to do with the Chois and Rika.

>    Yoosung★: But how long until I can see her?
> 
>    Yoosung★: I understand... she's not well...
> 
>    Yoosung★: But if she sees me, then...!
> 
>    Jumin: Be patient.
> 
>    Yoosung★: That's what you said last time!
> 
>    Jumin: I am a very consistent man. Being reliable is a valuable trait to have.
> 
>    Jumin: You should attempt to cultivate this virtue. I'll ask Stark to send you some tips.
> 
>    Yoosung★: >_<
> 
>    Yoosung★: I'll go over your head!
> 
>    Jumin: To my father, you mean?
> 
>    Jumin: Or are you going to invest in some platform shoes?
> 
>    Yoosung★: ...
> 
>    Yoosung★: Why are you like this
> 
>    [Zen has entered the chat room]
> 
>    Zen: lmao
> 
>    Zen: I can't believe you'd say that to Yoosung
> 
>    Zen: A reliable man would have let him meet his cousin already!
> 
>    Jumin: Zen. Good timing. I wanted to ask you about capes.
> 
>    Zen: what

Saeyoung's voice brings you back to the present.

"He asks about you every day. And his episodes have become less and less severe. I think he might..." he pauses, and you hear a faint tapping sound, as if Seven is typing while you speak. "What are your... god, how do I even say this." The tapping sounds stop. "Do you... care for him? Even now?"

You don't miss a beat. "I care about him."

"Hmm..." his voice is thoughtful. "You look sincere."

"Look?"

"Uh! I mean! Sound! Sound, haha! It's not like I can see you right now or anything, hahahaaa..."

You have your suspicions about this, but you just reply lightly. "Well, if you could see me, that'd just make me feel safer, anyway. You're always looking out for us, Saeyoung."

He doesn't reply for a while. "If you care about my brother like I think you do... please don't say things like that to me. Save words like that for... ugh. Ignore me. Just. Please, give all your kindness to him. He's had so little kindness in his life."

"So, does this mean I can see him?"

He sighs. “Honestly, if you don’t, he’s just going to break out of here to find you anyway.”

Saeyoung arranges for one of Jumin's drivers to take you to their location. He would have picked you up himself, but, in his words: he'd sooner drive a nail through his chest than leave Saeran alone again, even for an hour.

-oOo-

Saeyoung greets you at the door after you call him to let him know you've arrived. He looks tired, but the bags around his eyes are definitely better than when you’d watched him pull his hacking all-nighters. And there's something about his posture that's different too, although you can't quite work out what it is.

He eyes the duffel bag you're carrying. "Prepared for anything, huh?"

You shift your weight from one foot to the other, and run a hand over your hair. "I hope so. I-"

And then a gasp is all you can manage, as a blur dashes out of the doorway and two arms appear out of it to wrap around you tightly.

Saeyoung chuckles. "Awww, I kinda wanted to do that, too."

The arms surrounding you tighten, and you hear Saeran's muffled voice. "You're not allowed."

His brother just laughs. "Okay, I get it."

Saeran continues, his face still pressed into your hair. "He said you visited me, but I don't remember. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He finally pulls away, and reaches out a hand to brush your cheek. "I dreamed about you. But most of the dreams were bad."

You cover his hand with yours. "I'm sorry I couldn't be with you that whole time. I missed you so much."

You feel his body tense. "I... I missed you... but. I'm still. Sometimes I still see things. I'm scared I'm not going to see you, even when you're here."

You squeeze the hand under yours softly. "That's okay."

He brightens. "Then. Then... you'll stay?"

"I'll stay."

He wraps you in a hug again, and whispers quietly into your ear. "Then - I'll never let go of you, either. Because your heart and mine are the same. If it wasn't for your heart, I don't know if mine could even have kept beating all this time."

You turn your head to kiss his cheek, but he moves too, and your lips meet.

This time, the kiss isn't gentle or fierce. It just feels like an extension of your own heartbeat.

Healing takes time. And Saeran isn't the only one who needs it.

But now you're sure. You'll be able to heal together. You, Saeran... and Saeyoung.

Finally.

You're home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sharing this journey with me <3


End file.
